The formation of a glad-cel - becoming at peace with the celibate life

I have taken no oaths; still, I am set upon celibacy for the duration

At the age of 54, having once been married, having fathered two now grown children, I have been lately experienced a nature-prompted diminution of the passions.

I find, in my late middle age, that the demon of lust has little dominion over me anymore.

I don’t mean to overstate things: sexual desire has not gone completely dormant, but it has decreased significantly. It was at one time a daily pest, if not an hourly one.

Now it only strikes on exceedingly rare occasions, and those moments, rather than lingering for an extended period of time, are instead usually over before I can even process their passing.

To be sure, it is not quite like being a pre-pubescent child again, when those of the opposite sex (save for my mother) played absolutely no role in my hierarchy of needs.

Girls at that time simply didn’t figure at all; it wasn’t that I had anything against them, but really, I have anything for them, either. Having to see a man and a woman kiss in a movie or on TV was absolute torment; it was grosser than gross to see, or even to think about, two people becoming physically intimate in any way.

I still recall how one childhood friend told me what was involved in the begetting of babies; he was basically right, although certain details were off (without getting graphic, none of us knew that girls had an additional hole in their nether region besides the one we were all familiar with). “When we get married, we have to do THAT!” my friend exclaimed, indignantly. Feeling a rising tide of disgust in my gut, I declared that I would never get married, and I meant it (at the time).

While my drive in late middle-age hasn’t retreated to pre-pubescent levels of utter dormancy, it would also be erroneous to understate the extent to which I am now no longer interested in sex. To be sure, I still understand the appeal of it, but I see no cause to go out of my way to try to obtain it. I can live perfectly well without it.

And on the rare occasions when I do happen to run across someone who stirs something up in my heart and/or loins, I am nevertheless held in check by a consideration of the dire state of contemporary womanhood, a controversial topic that I have seen fit to give some attention in these virtual pages lately.

What repels me most is the notion of having to encounter the requisite “shit test.” Even if my own generally senescent sexuality were to be roused enough to give someone a try, I would abandon (relation)ship the very first time she decides to treat me with blatant disrespect to see how I react. Likewise, I’ll jettison the affair as soon as she asks me a seemingly innocent question, then gets upset when I answer honestly instead of giving her the answer she wants (another form of the dreaded “shit test”).

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Ironically enough, me breaking things off when put to the “shit test” would be, I suppose, a “correct” response, since it would signify that I “wasn’t taking her shit.”

My passing of her shit test would, however, result in her concomitant failure, since my shit test for her was for her to refrain from ever giving me a shit test. Since she would have failed in this regard, I would immediately exit stage left, without a shed of remorse. Neither subsequent pleas for forgiveness nor tears, regardless of how seemingly heartfelt, would sway me.

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Of course, the scenario described above is a hypothetical one. It is predicated upon the idea of me still being wanted. Lest anyone labor under the delusion that I find this a likely eventuality, rest assured, I have no such exalted estimation of my own prowess.

But even if it turns out to be true that I am indeed unwanted— being old, bald and broke, as I am— that state of affairs would not mean that I fit the label of “incel.” Instead, I am a glad-cel: that is, one who is glad to be celibate, who revels in the peace of mind it brings me in my twilight years.

Andy Nowicki is the author of several books, most recently The Insurrectionist, Muze, and Love and Hidden Agendas, as well as the just-published The Rule of Wrath.

https://substack.com/@andynowicki

Sex is Nature's Greatest Deception

 

Would one trade in his or her vitality for a temporary thrill? Would one lose one's spirit over some frivolous romance that did not even last the night? Hopefully not, but most likely nearly everyone is doing something quite similar to the above on a regular basis. If one is really serious about finding wholeness, then one needs to beware of the conspiracy of nature!

What is nature's greatest deception? How serious is it? Everyone is subject to this grand deception or conspiracy of nature that diminishes the quality of life starting in one's teens in order to perpetuate the species. This effect seems to also keep the soul bound within the prison of the physical by diminishing access to the spiritual and sensitivity to the sublime. Nature's conspiracy is an insidious all-consuming universal influence that in ways mysterious to most people, keep souls bound to the flesh, and drive everyone, everywhere down a never-ending path of materialistic strife and struggle toward all manner of nonsensical desires and depressing fates. In other words, we are imprisoned by our senses, sensuality, and strong attachment to the physical body!

(...)

Would one in his or her right mind sell one's soul for a farthing? Of course not... if that person knew about it! Unbeknown to all, the vast majority of humanity is selling his or her soul for the "farthing" of sensory pleasure. Yet the soul is priceless, therefore of what avail is it if one gains the world but loses one's soul? Most do not even know exactly what I am talking about because of the average materialistic limited perspective so common to all people who are stuck on this Earth. And what is even more mysterious is I am not referring to the divine soul in the literal religious sense but in the yogic sense of the enlightened "soul" as a complete whole being of infinite bliss, freedom and love.

(...)

I have seen the negative effects of sex attributed to all kinds of causes except the one true cause, and sex is so normal, so common place, very few suspect or even concern themselves with nature's conspiracy of sex let alone even have the vaguest inclination that such a conspiracy exists! 

Very few even want to come to such a conclusion, after all who wants to give it up? Even worse is the widespread popularity and availability of technology to enhance sensual stimulation and masturbation. Then there is pornography which can provoke an indifference to one's mate or spouse who in most cases is unable to look as exciting or enticing as what can be found on the internet. Overstimulation only leads one further into spiritual debt and even more lack of sensitivity to the non-addicting and more wholesome pleasures of transmutation into continuous bliss, divine love, and a much more enlightened and fulfilling life.

Who wants to hear that conventional sex is also as addictive as a powerful drug and can have serious side-effects such as depression, anger, adultery, codependency, and sadness? Who wants to hear that this "normal, healthy behavior" that popular psychologists assume is bad to repress also has a dark side, and is a great drain on one's full human potential? No one wants to hear of or accept such things however true they are and however profound are the implications.

(...)

Successfully preserving and expanding one's sexual energy upward, rather than losing it through conventional sex, can lead to a permanent, incomparable, ever-increasing, ever-changing satisfaction for the entire future of one's existence. Not only that, after years of meditating in samadhi, many amazing mental and psychic powers, and other surprising benefits can also occur.

Even though reproductive relationships must continue if the generations are to go on, and even though conventional sex is a 100% natural and normal part of ordinary “healthy” living, that fact does not mean that it is always great for the mind, spirit and body to indulge in whenever one pleases! The wisest of couples (especially in Hinduism) are the ones who never have sex for recreation and only for the purpose to create a child. Drastic? Not at all when one fully realizes just how much blissful awakening in yoga is missed, and how much of the profoundest joys and most fulfilling romantic relationships in life are disrupted through the loss of vital fluids. 

The profound benefits of celibacy are rarely experienced and understood. It can take a month or more of strict celibacy to really start noticing the difference and before the months go by one often has to undergo the careful redirection of very strong urges, desires and overwhelming impulses into a continuous flow of blissful, expanded creative energy and prana up the spine in the form of a kundalini awakening.

One has to first fully overcome this most powerful addiction before one can start to experience this great inner strength, bliss, joy, rejuvenation and love within and eventually the realization of Self and then of God. Being free of the addiction to conventional sex also makes it possible to experience and enjoy the most incredibly satisfying relationships ever because the joy of love along with a wonderful new form of (transmuted) sensuality becomes magnified many times over.

Once one has been fully involved with the pure lifestyle of self-control for many months, one usually never wants to go back to the old way of life; the benefits are too great. This transformation may not be for everyone, especially the "young and restless," however, those most suited for the spiritual path should at least try it and find out for themselves. No longer being subject to the conspiracy of nature means one will soon find the keys to that elysian paradise of absolute, all-fulfilling joy called wholeness.

The benefits of celibacy are obviously not widely understood nor fully appreciated. With all the erotic opportunities, sensual photos, sex oriented e-mails, and other media of the sort flashing over the internet, there seems to be a universal obsession with trying to use up as much reproductive (creative) energy as soon as possible and as often as possible.

It seems that everyone thinks we should all have an endless potpourri of intercourse encounters and if not, plenty of pharmaceutical, natural remedies and pheromones to fix any lacks! Forget about unconditional love, wholesome affection, and sincere commitment, these ads seem to encourage a prodigious expenditure of only the most physical, basic urges while making one think that the size of that one part of the male anatomy is all that matters! What a hoax!

Even though sex may be a natural, essential part of life, so is being stuck in a physical body along with all its severe restrictions, miseries and complications lifetime after lifetime. Christians should especially be aware of this fact. For what reason was Adam and Eve cast out of the Garden of Eden in the first place? And humankind has ever since paid the terrible price of their “sin” by continuing with the sex act in the same old manner.

(...)

Even the majority of spiritual books I have read most recently don’t seem to touch on the virtues, values and benefits of celibacy, completely ignoring it almost as if everyone is somehow miraculously capable of achieving great heights of spiritual awareness, perfect love, perfect relationships, bliss, inner joy and concentration, etc. without any sort of reduction in the loss of creative fluids nor any help from advanced nutrition. How can anyone expect to make real and lasting spiritual progress under these conditions? In a similar sense, how in the world can one expect to get more and more power from a constantly drained battery?

In spite of the massive lack of popularity and understanding regarding celibacy, there is an obvious benefit to abstaining from sex for long periods of time that very few seem to understand or appreciate. Stored creative energy properly transmuted gives one a definite psychological boost such as a greater sense of purpose, better memory, concentration, and more interest in doing what is needed or required while giving one a feeling of reward in accomplishment. One tends to look forward to getting things done in a creative way while enjoying much greater motivation, bliss, joy, resilience, determination, and love for one’s duty.

As long as one prevents one’s creative energy from getting diffused or drained into the endless quagmire of lust, it remains easier for the accomplishment of one’s goals, and the expression of higher values such as unconditional love and affection, morality, purity, and spiritual marriage, to remain the main focus of one’s life. Obviously, if it weren’t so easy (unfortunate) to keep falling into this quagmire, there would be far wider acceptance and knowledge of the obvious ecological, economic, social, physical and mental health benefits of celibacy.

Celibacy and Transmutation of 

Sexual Energy for Deeper Meditation

Written by Russell Symonds 

(Yogi Shaktivirya)