To be is to be contingent: nothing of which it can be said that "it is" can be alone and independent. But being is a member of paticca-samuppada as arising which contains ignorance. Being is only invertible by ignorance.

Destruction of ignorance destroys the illusion of being. When ignorance is no more, than consciousness no longer can attribute being (pahoti) at all. But that is not all for when consciousness is predicated of one who has no ignorance than it is no more indicatable (as it was indicated in M Sutta 22)

Nanamoli Thera
Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts

Sunday, June 14, 2026

Results of the practice


Although the overwhelming majority of Westerners who entered the monastic life at Wat Pah Pong were male, there were also a small number of Western women who came to train as maechees. Chief amongst these, was an American known by her adopted name Khamfah, who arrived with her husband Paul, after fleeing their home in Laos ahead of the Communist takeover in late 1975. The couple decided to try to stay for five years, with the proviso that, if at any time, both of them wanted to leave, then they would do so; however, in the case that one wanted to go and the other wanted to stay, then they would both carry on and endure through their difficulties. It was challenging for both of them, but they survived the five years.

At the end of every year, Luang Por would allow Maechee Khamfah to go to Wat Pah Nanachat for a few days where she would have the chance to speak to Paul (by then known as Ven. Thitabho). But mostly, their relationship was confined to the odd clandestine note, secreted at an agreed spot in the forest on the maechees’ route to the kitchen. In many ways, it was harder for Maechee Khamfah: as a nun, she had much less access to Luang Por, and, in the Maechee Section, her inspiration could easily waver. But Ven. Thitabho did not find monastic life easy either, and sometimes he would probably have preferred the distance from Luang Por that his wife resented.

By the late 1970s Luang Por had become a more grandfatherly figure. But the old fire and ability to give corrosive admonishments would occasionally resurface. He could also accomplish the effect of a scolding without speaking a word, as he demonstrated one day when he caught Ven. Thitabho breaking a key monastic regulation.

Private supplies of tea, coffee, sugar and so on were forbidden at Wat Pah Pong. Everybody was expected to be content with whatever communal drinks were provided. However, a number of the Western monks – Ven. Thitabho included – persuaded themselves that they were a special case in this respect, and if they were discreet enough about it, boiling a pot of water in the forest and having a cup of tea together was a minor, harmless indulgence. Every now and again, they would meet at Ven. Thitabho’s kuti, where an ancient black kettle was secreted.

One day, Ven. Thitabho received a parcel of fine teas from his sister in England. In the late afternoon, he made a small fire in the forest behind his kuti, at a spot where the smoke would not be visible from the path, to enjoy a first cup of the new batch. But when an involuntary shiver passed through his body, he quickly turned around to see a motionless and stonefaced Luang Por watching him. It was the proverbial nightmare come true. Luang Por walked over to the illicit supplies, lifted up his walking stick and knocked over a few jars of tea with a crash, spat on the ground and walked off in silence.

Luang Por spent most of the second half of 1979 overseeing the renovation of the monastery in Bahn Kor where he had spent his first years in the robes. Towards the end of the year, Ven. Thitabho was assigned as his attendant. One day, a group of Thai visitors began to praise the Western monks for their renunciation and dedication. Luang Por agreed, yes, his Western disciples were accomplished, many of them could chant the Pāṭimokkha. ‘They’re all very intelligent,’ he paused dramatically, ‘except for this one’, he pointed to Thitabho, ‘He’s really stupid.’ Afterwards, Luang Por asked Thitabho slyly if he got angry when he treated him like that. Thitabho said, ‘How can you get angry with a mountain?’ Luang Por was delighted. Laughing, he turned to one of the novices by his side, ‘Write that down. Write that down!’

Eventually, the five years were up. In the last few months, Khamfah’s growing sense of isolation in the Maechee Section had been exploited by a fundamentalist Christian missionary. This had culminated, somewhat bizarrely, in her conversion (‘Maybe, she’s right’, said a deadpan Luang Por, startling Ajahn Sumedho who brought the news). After their departure, ex-Thitabho adopted his wife’s faith. The couple sent letters to Western monks lamenting what they called the aridity of Buddhist spirituality, and exulting in what they believed to be a shared sense of Christ’s presence. One of their main complaints was that after five years in the wat, they could see no tangible results from their practice. No matter how much they had tried, life had always seemed to remain pretty much the same. These comments were passed on to Luang Por. Then one day, a photo of the couple with their first child arrived in the post. It was shown to Luang Por. He looked at it for a moment and then said, ‘At last, they’ve seen the results of their practice.’

Stillness Flowing The Life and Teaching of Ajhan Chah 

Saturday, January 31, 2026

Transcript of a Live Radio Interview with Chess Champion Bobby Fischer


14 January 1999

(Fischer’s mother, Regina Wender, was Jewish and it is very probable that his biological father was also Jewish)

Pablo Mercado: (speech in Filipino). Bobby Fischer. You can just lift the... Eugene you can just lift the phone and let’s put it on the air, that’s easy, OK?

Eugene Torre: Bobby? Yeah, This is Eugene. I’m here beside Mr. Pablo Mercado.

Bobby Fischer: Yes.

Torre: He’s the radio announcer here in Bomba Radio in Baguio. So good morning Bobby, how are you?

Fischer: OK, Mr. Bomba is it?

Torre: Wait, wait. Mr. Pablo Mercado – here wait.

Fischer: Oh, pardon me, Mr. Pablo Mercado of Bomba Radio, excuse me, ya.

Mercado: Yes, uh, how are you Bobby?

Fischer: Thank you, very well, yes.

Mercado: You’re very well. You see, Eugene Torre is here with us right now and he related to us your present problem regarding your memorabilias in the States. Can you tell us something about it Bobby?

Fischer: Yes, well, umm, this is just the latest in a long line of crimes against me by World Jewry and the Jew-controlled United States of America.

Mercado: Uh huh. Why is it so? Why is it so? Why are they doing this to you?

Fischer: They don’t like me.

Mercado: (laughs). As simple as that. As simple as that, that they don’t like you.

Fischer: Ya.

Mercado: All right. Which of these properties that you have are now being sold by the States?

Fischer: No... they’re already been sold. They’re gone.

Mercado: Really?

Fischer: Ya, ya. They said I owe them a few hundred dollars which is, you know, without contacting me, nothing. They just sold it all off – stuff that it took me a lifetime to accumulate. I had it in. They broke open my safes and they broke open my file cabinets and everything. And just sold off everything. Sold off like a hundred boxes of my stuff and sold off my photo album, my letters from President Marcos, my photo album with President Marcos – everything.

Mercado: Uh-huh.

Fischer: This is just a conspiracy against me by the Jews.

Mercado: Why? Why?

Fischer: Those filthy, filthy bastards. You know they’ve trying to take over the world.

Mercado: Why?

Fischer: You know they invented the Holocaust story. There’s no such. There was no holocaust of the Jews in World War II.

Mercado: Really?

Fischer: They’ve been pulling this shit from time immemorial about persecution. They’re a filthy, lying, bastard people. That’s all they ever do. That’s all they’ll ever be.

Mercado: Why do you have this thing about the Jews?

Fischer: I have no thing. They have a thing about me.

Mercado: (laughs).

Fischer: Study the history.

Mercado: Really?

Fischer: Are you a Christian?

Mercado: Yes, I am.

Fischer: Well, you know. The Catholic Church. The Catholic Church taught for a long time about that they’re guilty of the murder of Christ, right?

Mercado: Yes. So? (Laughs.)

Fischer: You know.

Mercado: (laughs). Anyway, Bob, this memorabilia that has been sold that you owned.

Fischer: That I owned? I still own it. This is all stolen property, you know?

Mercado: All right. All right. Uhhh, would you?

Fischer: I have spent on this... just in storage fees alone over 10,000 dollars. I have spent in buying the custom-made safes, custom-made file cabinets, with secret built-in safes in the file cabinets, another file cabinet, a safe with special drill-proof doors, with a second door inside, combination locks, both timers, in case somebody tries to force you to open it. The works! To preserve my memorabilia. My stuff from Marcos, my letters from President Nixon, books dedicated to me by President Nixon, former President Nixon when he dedicated the books, but he was President Nixon when he wrote to me. All kinds of stuff, photo albums, statues, the works! They have stole every fucking thing and sold if off. The dirty Jews that want to put me in prison for 10 years. They have sold off all of my memorabilia which I collected over years. They have confiscated, they have stolen my book My 60 Memorable Games. They have come out with the illegal movie called Searching for Bobby Fischer which is exploiting my name for money. They’ve made tens if not hundreds of millions of dollars on this movie. I never get a penny of it. They came out with the illegal. The Jews have come out with the illegal CD-ROM called ‘Bobby Fischer Teaches Chess.’ Zero for me. I get nothing. Even from the legitimate edition of My 60 Memorable Games. Nothing. These fucking Jews are thieves, they are liars, they are mother-fuckers, and it’s time we took care of these bastards.

Mercado: I have a photocopy of several checks that you have issued to...

Fischer: Yeah yeah. I faxed them to Eug.

Mercado: Yes, who is this Bob Ellsworth?

Fischer: This guy was acting as my agent to pay my bills there in the States.

Mercado: Uh, huh.

Fischer: I have some stuff in storage in New York. I have the stuff in storage in Pasadena which has all been robbed. And I have a PO box, two PO boxes in Pasadena. And I had some property in Florida which I have to pay taxes on every year.

Mercado: Uh, huh.

Fischer: This. All of these things come to less than 4,000 dollars. So I was sending him five grand a year to take care of all this, plus giving him like a thousand dollars for his trouble. And he was paying it. But then he got the words from the dirty Jews. Fuck Fischer’s ass. Sell his memorabilia. This was in collusion. This was in collusion with this Bekins storage company in Pasadena. You know. What the hell am I gonna give away all of the stuff which I have taken years to accumulate and to preserve over 400 dollars. I’ve got 300 million dollars in Switzerland. I got dough here in Hungary. They did it all behind my back. Nobody contacted me. Nothing. They didn’t contact my lawyers. Nothing. The fucking Jews want to destroy everything I’ve worked for all my life. There was no Holocaust. The Jews are liars. It’s time we took off the kid gloves with these parasites.

Mercado: All right. With all of these things Mr. Fischer, what do you intend to do now?

Fischer: I intend to do what I’m doing right now.

Mercado: What?

Fischer: Which is to expose the Jews for the criminals they are, the parasites they are, the liars they are, the thieves they are, the niggers they are.

Mercado: You speak like an Arab.

Fischer: You ask the Palestinians. I was just listening to the BBC. The horror story that come out of there when you get into an Israeli prison. The way they torture you. It’s unheard of. I was listening to a Palestinian woman, a Christian woman from Palestine, not even Muslims, Christian women who were anti-Israel. They got picked up by the Israeli police, taken down to the jail, and then the Israeli police tried to get information – Who do you know among your friends that’s anti-Israel? Give us all the names of your Arab, Christian friends who are anti-Israel. When they refused, they put the women in a cell, these are mothers, these women, mostly. They put ‘em in a cell, and then they start playing, in Arabic, on the loudspeaker, 24 hours a day, "Mommy, come home, Mommy, we miss you" in Arabic. They played it over and over again until the women just collapsed.

Mercado: All right, do you have any...

Fischer: This is the Jewish mentality. These are a criminal people. They torture their prisoners in the worst way. It’s even illegal! They don’t even deny it hardly. Jews were always bastards throughout history. They are liars, they are the worst pieces of shit in the world. They mutilate their own children.

Mercado: All right.

Fischer: Fuck the Jews.

Mercado: OK. You don’t plan any legal moves against them? Against those who sold your memorabilia?

Fischer: What is this he said?

Mercado: Legal moves, like a case in court.

Fischer: You know, the Jews control the courts. What is your name, Mr. Mercado?

Mercado: Yes, Pablo.


Fischer: Yes, the Jews. Pablo, yeah, Pablo. The Jews control the courts. It’s just a charade they go through. It’s Facade City, you know – Facade City. I’ve been involved in a number of lawsuits in America. Never got a penny, never got a stop order, never got nothing. I’ve been involved in about five or six lawsuits, about five cases throughout the years, never got a penny, never got any property back, never got a stop order, never got nothing man. I spent a lot of money, and I have all the documents, and I have all the justice on my side. It’s a joke. The United States is a farce controlled by dirty, hook-nosed circumcised Jew bastards.

Mercado: Bob, uhh, I have no other questions. Maybe Eugene, he has a few questions for you.

Fischer: Ya, ya, Hi Eugene.

Torre: Hi, Hi Bobby. Well, uhh, not much questions. I think you have expressed, uhh, quite good your side, and exposed these people, you know? (Laughs.)

Fischer: Hey Eugene, what’s the difference between a good Jew and a bad Jew?

Torre: Yeah. What’s the difference between a good Jew and bad Jew?

Fischer: The good Jew fucks you slower. (All laugh.)

Torre: OK. So... It’s OK, Bobby. I think it should be over now, and...

Fischer: OK.

Torre: And I have good news. I was able to contact... Anyway, maybe you can get in touch with me later, OK?

Fischer: OK, I’ll call you at home, OK?

Torre: OK, ya, and uhh...

Bobby Fischer: OK, what time, I’ll call you what, in about 10 minutes, half an hour?

Torre: Maybe in half an hour, ya.

Fischer: OK. OK. Did we go out live? Did we go out live?

Torre: This is live. This is live, Bobby. Everybody hears...

Fischer: OK, good. You know, because that’s the only way to go, you know. I don’t like to be edited, you know.

Torre: No, no. No editing here. Here, it’s live.

Fischer: Get a copy. Get a copy of this, OK?

Torre: Ya, I got already here a tape of this conversation, this interview, OK? So give me a call after thirty or one hour, no?

Fischer: OK, take it easy.

Torre: OK. Bye.

Source: https://heretical.com/miscella/fischer.html

Sunday, January 5, 2025

Absentminded

 533 The author adds in a note: “This is not so much a portrait of one individual, as a collection of anecdotes of absent-minded persons. If they please, there cannot be too large a number of them, for as tastes differ, my readers can pick and choose.” The chief traits of Menalcas are based on stories related by the Count de Brancas, who died eleven years before the above paragraph first saw the light (1691); others are said to have happened to the Prince de la Roche-sur-Yon, afterwards Prince de Conti (1664-1709), and to a certain Abbé de Mauroy, chaplain to Mademoiselle de Montpensier. Eustace Budgell (1685-1736) depicts in No. 77 of the “Spectator” “an absent man,” and also speaks of Monsieur Bruyère, who “has given us the character of an absent man with a great deal of humour;” and then prints “the heads” of Menalcasʼ portrait. According to Wattʼs Bibliotheca Britannica, Budgell was the author of a translation of La Bruyèreʼs “Characters,” published 1699 and 1702; but in the edition of 1702 there is on the title-page, “made English by several hands.”

Menalcas533↑ goes down-stairs, opens the door to go out, and shuts it again; he perceives that he has his nightcap on, and on looking at himself with a little more attention, he finds that he is but half shaved, that he has fastened his sword on the wrong side, that his stockings are hanging on his heels, and that his shirt is bulging out above his breeches. If he walks about, he feels something strike him all at once in the stomach or in the face, and he cannot imagine what it is, until he opens his eyes and wakes up, when he finds himself before the shaft of a cart, or behind a long plank a workman is carrying. He has been seen to run his head against a blind man, and to get entangled between his legs, so that both fell backwards. Often he meets a prince face to face, who wishes to pass; he recollects himself with some difficulty, and scarcely has time to squeeze himself up against the wall to make room for him.534 He searches about, rummages, shouts, gets excited, calls his servants one after another, and complains that everything is lost or mislaid; he asks for his gloves which he holds in his hands, like the woman who asked for the mask she had on her face. He enters the rooms at Versailles,535 and passing under a chandelier, his wig gets hooked on to one of the brackets and is left hanging, whilst all the courtiers stare and laugh. Menalcas looks also, and laughs louder than any of them, staring in the meanwhile at all the company to see what man shows his ears and has lost his wig.536 If he goes into town,537 before he has gone far he thinks he has lost his way, gets uneasy, and asks some of the passers-by where he is, who name to him the very street he lives in; he enters his own house, runs out in haste, and fancies he is mistaken. He comes out of the Palais de Justice, and finding a carriage waiting at the bottom of the great staircase, he thinks it is his own and enters it; the coachman just touches the horses with his whip, and supposes all the while he is driving his master home; Menalcas jumps out, crosses the courtyard, mounts the stairs, and passes through the ante-chamber and ordinary rooms into the study; but nothing is strange or new to him; he sits down, takes a rest, and feels himself at home. When the real master of the house arrives, he rises to receive him, treats him very politely, begs him to be seated, and believes he is doing the honours of his own room; he talks, muses, and talks again; the master of the house is tired and amazed, and Menalcas as much as he, though he does not say what he thinks, but supposes the other is some bore who has nothing to do, and will leave soon—at least he hopes so, and remains patient; yet it is almost night before he is undeceived, and that with some difficulty. Another time he pays a visit to a lady, and imagines that she is visiting him; he sits down in her arm-chair538 without any thought of giving it up; it then seems to him that the lady is somewhat long in her visit, and he expects every moment that she will rise and leave him at liberty; but as she delays, he is growing hungry, and night coming on, he invites her to have some supper with him, at which she bursts out in such loud laughter that he comes to himself. He marries in the morning, but has forgotten it at night, and does not sleep at home on his wedding-night; some time afterwards his wife dies in his arms, and he is present at her funeral; the next day one of the servants informs him that dinner is on the table, when he asks if his wife is already dressed and if they have told her it is served up. He enters a church, and takes a blind man, always stationed at the door, for a pillar, and the plate he holds in his hands for a holy-water basin, into which he dips his hands; and when he makes the sign of the cross on his forehead, he, on a sudden, hears the pillar speak and beg for alms; he walks through the aisle, and fancying he sees a praying-chair, throws himself heavily on it; the chair bends, gives way, and strives to cry out;539 Menalcas is surprised to find himself kneeling on the legs of a very little man, and leaning on his back, with both his arms on his shoulders, his folded hands extended, taking him by the nose and stopping his mouth; he is quite confused, withdraws, and goes and kneels elsewhere. He takes out his prayer-book as he thinks, but he pulls out a slipper instead, which he had inadvertently put into his pocket before he went out; he has hardly left the church when a footman runs after him, comes up to him, and asks him, with a laugh, if he has not got the bishopʼs slipper; Menalcas produces his, and assures him that he has no other slippers about him; but, however, after searching he finds the slipper of his lordship, whom he has just been visiting, had found indisposed at his fireside, and whose slipper he had pocketed before he took his leave, instead of one of his gloves he had dropt; so that Menalcas returns home with one slipper less. One day whilst gambling he lost all the money he had about him, and, as he wished to continue, he went into his private room, unlocked a cupboard, took out his cash-box, helped himself to whatever he pleased, and then thought he put it back again in its former place; but he heard some barking going on in the cupboard he just locked, and, quite astonished at this marvellous occurrence, he opened it again, and burst out laughing on beholding his dog he had locked up instead of his cash-box. Whilst he is playing backgammon he asks for something to drink, which is brought him; it is his turn to play, and, holding the box in one hand and the glass in the other, and being very thirsty, he gulps down the dice and almost the box, whilst the water is thrown on the board, and quite wets the person he is playing with. One day being in a room with a family with whom he was very intimate, he spits on the bed, and throws his hat on the ground, thinking he is spitting on the floor and shying his hat on the bed. Once on the river he asked what oʼclock it was; they hand him a watch, but it is scarcely in his hands when he forgets both the time and the watch, and throws the latter into the river as a thing which bothers him. He writes a long letter, throws some sand on his paper,540 and then pours the sand into the inkstand; but that is not all. He writes a second letter, and after having sealed both, he makes a mistake in addressing them; one of them is sent to a duke and peer of the realm, who, on opening it, reads: “Mr. Oliver,—Pray donʼt fail to send me my provision of hay as soon as you receive this letter.” His farmer receives the other letter, opens it, has it read to him, and finds in it: “My lord,—I receive with the utmost submission the orders which it has pleased your highness,” and so on. He writes another letter at night, and after sealing it, puts out the light; yet is surprised to be on a sudden in the dark, and is at a loss to conceive how it has happened. Coming down the Louvre staircase, Menalcas meets another person coming up, and exclaims that the latter is the very man he is looking for; he takes him by the hand, and they go down-stairs together, cross several courtyards, enter some apartments, and come out again; he moves about, and returns whence he started; then, looking more narrowly at the man he has thus been dragging after him for a quarter of an hour, he wonders who it is, has nothing to say to him, lets go his hand, and turns another way. He often asks a question, and is almost out of sight before it is possible to answer him; or else he will ask you, whilst he is running about, how your father is, and when you answer him that he is seriously unwell, he will shout to you that he is very glad to hear it. Another time, if you fall in his way, he is delighted to meet you, and says he has just come from your house to talk to you on a certain matter of business; then, looking at your hand, he exclaims, “Thatʼs a fine ruby you wear; is it a balass ruby?”541 and then he leaves you, and goes on his way; this is the important matter of business he was so anxious to talk to you about. If he is in the country, he tells some person he must feel happy he has been able to leave the court in the autumn and to have spent on his estate all the time the court was at Fontainebleau;542 whilst to other people he talks about something else; then, going back to the first, he says to him, “You have had some very fine weather at Fontainebleau, and you must have followed the royal hunt pretty often.” He begins a story which he forgets to finish; he laughs to himself, and that aloud, at something he is thinking of, and replies to his own thoughts; he hums a tune, whistles, throws himself into a chair, sends forth a pitiful whine, yawns, and thinks himself alone. When he is at a dinner-party he gradually gathers all the bread on his own plate, and his neighbours have none; and he does the same with the knives and forks, which do not remain long in their hands. Lately some large spoons, convenient for helping every one, have been introduced at certain tables; he takes one of these spoons, plunges it into the dish, fills it, puts it into his mouth, and is highly astonished to see the soup he has just taken all over his clothes and linen. He forgets to drink at dinner, or, if he remembers it, thinks there is too much wine poured out for him; he flings more than half of it in the face of a gentleman seated at his right hand, drinks the rest with a great deal of composure, and cannot understand why everybody should burst out laughing for throwing on the floor the wine he did not wish to drink.543 He keeps his bed a day or two for a slight indisposition, and a goodly number of ladies and gentlemen visit him, and converse with him in the ruelle;544 in their presence he lifts up the blankets and spits in the sheets. He is taken to the Convent of the Carthusians, where they show him a gallery adorned with paintings, all executed by the hand of a master;545 the monk who explains the subjects persistently expatiates on the life of Saint Bruno, and points out the adventure with the canon in one of the pictures.546 Menalcas, whose thoughts are all the while wandering away from the gallery, and far beyond it, returns to it at last, and asks the monk whether it is the canon or Saint Bruno who is damned. Being once, as it happened, with a young widow, he talks to her of her deceased husband, and asks of what he died; this conversation renews all the sorrows of the lady, who, amidst tears and sobs, tells him all the particulars of her late husbandʼs illness, from the night he first was attacked by fever to his final agony; whereupon Menalcas, who apparently listens to her narrative with great attention, asks her if the deceased was her only husband. One morning he gets it into his head to hurry on everything for dinner; but he rises before the dessert is brought on, and leaves his guests by themselves. That day he is sure to be seen everywhere in town except on the spot where he has made an appointment about the very business which prevented him finishing his dinner, and made him walk, for fear it would take too long a time to get the horses and carriage ready. You may frequently hear him shout, scold, and get in a rage about one of his servants being out of the way. “Where can that man be?” says he;

“what can he be doing? what has become of him? Let him never more present himself before me; I discharge him this very minute!” The servant makes his appearance, and he asks him, in a contemptuous tone, where he comes from; the man replies he has been where he was sent to, and gives a faithful account of his errand. You would often take Menalcas for what he is not, for an idiot; for he does not listen, and speaks still less; for a madman, because he talks to himself, and indulges in certain grimaces and involuntary motions of the head; for proud and discourteous, because when you bow to him, he may pass without looking at you, or look at you and not return your bow; for a man without any feeling, for he talks of bankruptcy in a family where there is such a blot; of executions and the scaffold before a person whose father has been beheaded; of plebeians before plebeians who have become rich and pretend to be of noble birth. He even intends to bring up his illegitimate son in his house, and pretends he is a servant; and though he would have his wife and children know nothing about the matter, he cannot forbear calling him his son every hour of the day. He resolves to let his son marry the daughter of some man of business, yet he now and then boasts of his birth and ancestors, and that no Menalcas has ever made a misalliance. In short, he seems to be absent minded, and to pay no attention to the conversation going on; he thinks and speaks at the same time, but what he says is seldom about what he thinks; so that there is hardly any coherence and sequence in his talk; he often says “yes” when he should say “no,” and when he says “no,” you must suppose he would say “yes.” When he answers you so pertinently, his eyes are fixed on your countenance, but it does not follow that he sees you; he looks neither at you nor at any one, nor at anything in the world. All that you can draw from him, even when he is most sociable and most attentive, are some such words as these: “Yes, indeed; it is true; very well; really; indeed; I believe so; certainly; O Heaven!” and some other monosyllables, even not always used on the right occasions. He never is with those with whom he appears to be; he calls his footman very seriously “Sir,” and his friend “La Verdure;”547 says “Your Reverence” to a prince of the royal blood, and “Your Highness” to a Jesuit. When he is at mass, and the priest sneezes, he cries out aloud, “God bless you!” He is in the company of a magistrate of serious disposition, and venerable by his age and dignity, who asks him whether a certain event happened in such and such a way, and Menalcas replies, “Yes, miss.” As he came one day from the country, his footmen plotted to rob him and succeeded; they jumped down from behind his coach, presented the end of a torch to his breast, and demanded his purse, which he gave up.548 When he came home he told his friends what had happened, and when they asked for details he said they had better inquire of his servants, who also were present.

533 The author adds in a note: “This is not so much a portrait of one individual, as a collection of anecdotes of absent-minded persons. If they please, there cannot be too large a number of them, for as tastes differ, my readers can pick and choose.” The chief traits of Menalcas are based on stories related by the Count de Brancas, who died eleven years before the above paragraph first saw the light (1691); others are said to have happened to the Prince de la Roche-sur-Yon, afterwards Prince de Conti (1664-1709), and to a certain Abbé de Mauroy, chaplain to Mademoiselle de Montpensier. Eustace Budgell (1685-1736) depicts in No. 77 of the “Spectator” “an absent man,” and also speaks of Monsieur Bruyère, who “has given us the character of an absent man with a great deal of humour;” and then prints “the heads” of Menalcasʼ portrait. According to Wattʼs Bibliotheca Britannica, Budgell was the author of a translation of La Bruyèreʼs “Characters,” published 1699 and 1702; but in the edition of 1702 there is on the title-page, “made English by several hands.”

534 Many of the streets in Paris were so narrow when our author wrote, that two people could hardly pass abreast; it was, therefore, the fashion to “give the wall,” as it was called, to persons of a superior rank.

535 See page 243, note 486.

536 The wigs were already worn very long, and completely concealed the ears.

537 See page 164, note 322.

538 There was usually only one or two arm-chairs in a reception-room, reserved for the master or mistress of the house, or for both.

539 It was reported that Brancas, chevalier dʼhonneur of the queen-mother, Anne of Austria (1602-1666), behaved in almost a similar manner to his royal mistress.

540 Blotting-paper was not invented when our author wrote; even now it is not unusual abroad to find the ink of letters dried with sand, either plain or coloured.

541Balais in French, a kind of pale-coloured ruby, so called, according to Littréʼs Dictionnaire, from Balakschan or Balaschan, not far from Samarcand.

542 The king used to hunt at Fontainebleau almost every day in October. See also page 174, note 359.

543 There existed a great deal of coarseness at the court of Louis XIV. underneath a semblance of extreme polish and refinement, and some of the stories told by Saint-Simon of the habits and customs of the king himself would not bear repeating at the present time, and even be considered disgraceful by the lowest classes of society. As an example of this general coarseness, it will, no doubt, have been observed that it was the usual habit of decent people to expectorate on the floor (see page 277, line 12), as well as to throw there the wine they did not wish to drink; for Menalcas is only laughed at for his absence of mind, and not for his bad habits. See also in the chapter “Of the Gifts of Fortune,” § 83, the character of Phædo, page 161, and in the chapter “Of Society, etc.,” the character of Troïlus, page 106, § 13.

544 See page 65, note 161.

545 In the Convent of the Carthusians, then near the Luxembourg, were to be found the twenty-two celebrated pictures of Eustache Lesueur (1616-1655), representing the history of Saint Bruno, founder of that order, who died in 1101. The greater part of these pictures is now in the Louvre.

546 This picture represents the burial of an eloquent and learned canon, who, whilst being carried to the tomb, rose in his coffin, exclaimed that he was damned, and fell back again.

547 See page 138, note 272.

548 Tallemant des Réaux, in his Historiettes, tells a more probable story of de Brancas, how one day, being on horseback and stopped by footpads, he mistook them for footmen, and ordered them to let go his horse, and how he did not find out his mistake till they clapt a pistol to his breast.

La Bruyere 

Characters 

Friday, September 6, 2024

In Sporting Endeavors

 

(in which we wonder whether Philippides would have used public transport after the Battle of Marathon if given the opportunity)

Like anthropology and journalism, sport provides fertile ground for those wishing to describe places they haven’t been to. If numerous sports take place in enclosed arenas and therefore aren’t directly concerned, a substantial number of risky practices like mountaineering, sailing or motor races, aeronautical escapades or hunting in faraway countries1 necessarily lead their devotees to ask themselves whether it is worth throwing themselves into a dangerous, exhausting venture if they can instead limit their efforts to the essential and concentrate on the story.

It is well within their interests to develop skills that will allow them to speak with accuracy about a sporting performance they have refrained from making and produce a convincing line about it that includes plenty of descriptions of the places they have been to, in order to remove all doubts from those suspecting that they may have taken a shortcut or stayed at home.

In 1980, a woman by the name of Rosie Ruiz, a young American of Cuban origin, twenty-six years old, entered the annals of athletic history for two different reasons. The first one, purely sports related, was that she won the women’s division in an important athletic challenge, the Boston Marathon, also setting the third-fastest time for a woman in any marathon.2

This event is one of the oldest distance races and one of the most famous in the world. It usually takes place on the third Monday in April. It has the characteristic of not being open to all candidates but only to preselected runners who have achieved a minimum qualifying time in another official marathon, ensuring an exceptional sporting standard.

It is still easy today to peruse the images that have survived of this historical course and the triumphant arrival of Rosie Ruiz. We discover a young woman in a yellow shirt, wearing the number W50, running the last few meters of the race with a stumbling stride before collapsing into the arms of spectators who help her, half-fainting, across the line. After this, two policemen take over and support her under her arms to prevent her from collapsing entirely.

Next we see her answering a journalist’s questions. Carrying the laurel wreath that right until 1986 was the only reward given to winners of this race and holding a silver cup, Rosie Ruiz, clearly in a state of euphoria, struggles to catch her breath and only briefly responds to the questions. Asked whether anyone helped her, she replied that she trained alone and was her own coach.

Rosie Ruiz’s sporting performance was remarkable in any case because she ran the marathon in two hours, thirty-one minutes and fifty-six seconds, which was the best female time ever recorded at the Boston event and the third best time ever run by a woman in an official marathon. This fact alone made her an instant celebrity, something she was to remain.

However, it wasn’t Rosie Ruiz’s exceptional time that brought her so much fame. She mainly went down in history for having lost her title again so quickly, after being accused of not actually having run the full course.

One of the things that attracted the organizers’ attention was the exceptional time Rosie Ruiz made compared to her previous performance at the New York City Marathon. An even more revelatory indication in their eyes was the fact that the young woman recovered so rapidly after having crossed the finish line and could give no other explanation for her stunning physical condition than that she’d got up that morning brimming with energy.

Worse still, the officials sitting at various points around the race could not remember seeing the young woman pass by and wondered what mysterious, unknown path she had taken to be able to cover the distance between the start and the finish in record time.

The scandal reached greater proportions when the officials, looking into the New York Marathon—which had enabled Ruiz to qualify for the Boston event—became convinced, with witnesses to support it, that the young woman had covered part of the course by metro.

Accused of having cheated, Rosie Ruiz was disqualified from the Boston Marathon and the runner up, Jacqueline Gareau, was awarded the title. But Ruiz never admitted the fraud and continued to calmly affirm, despite all the evidence, that she had completed the legendary marathon in first place.

I personally have difficulty understanding the reasons that lead the organizers to strip Rosie Ruiz of her title. As someone who is rather insensitive to sporting disciplines and remains perplexed by the idea of anyone spending part of their life trying to run a certain distance in a minimum amount of time, it isn’t easy to understand the reproaches made to this young woman.

In terms of history, in any case, she doesn’t seem to have lacked respect for the spirit of the marathon, which consisted of finding the best way of getting from one place to another in a limited amount of time. When Philippides ran from Marathon to Athens to tell the Areopagus that the Persian army had been defeated, he chose the only method that was available to him, but it is obvious that he would have chosen a faster way if he’d had the opportunity.

In terms of sporting logic, aside from the fact that I doubt that using public transport is expressly forbidden in the marathon’s rules, it would be naive to suppose that Rosie Ruiz was an isolated case. Other similar cases have been identified—suggesting that the number of frauds is actually quite high.3 One only needs to leaf through the abundance of literature dedicated to exploits in inaccessible places with something of a critical mind to guess that some of these texts, like those of Marco Polo and Chateaubriand, were written at a fireside, and that the writers should be judged for their literary performance, not their sporting prowess.

The strangest thing about this story is that Rosie Ruiz was primarily reproached for her lack of imagination. The organizers considered it to her detriment that she was incapable of accurately describing certain parts of the route, in particular a girls’ college that all the competitors should have passed—Wellesley College—whose students traditionally cheer with rapturous enthusiasm.

It is somewhat paradoxical that part of the charge against her was Rosie Ruiz’s inability to describe the route, as if to criticize her refusal to resort to the particular kind of fiction—artistically fertile but unacceptable in sports—that is literary truth. The argument can easily be turned around because it would be just as easy to think that, if she’d really wanted to cheat, Rosie Ruiz would have gone to the trouble of gathering information on the route.

As for myself, I would have no trouble, if asked, recounting the time I took part in the Boston Marathon some years ago.

For example, I have clear memories of the start of the race in the small town of Hopkinton, the gentle descent toward Ashland and going past the clock tower, then the train depot at Framingham, before skirting Lake Cochituate on our left and hearing, around the twenty-kilometer mark, the screams of the Wellesley students in the distance, carried by the wind.

How would it be possible to forget those groups of enthusiastic female students, frantically brandishing placards bearing inscriptions as encouraging as “I love you!” or “Marry me!” in front of the magnificent campus lost amid squirrel-filled trees. I can even give you a detailed description of the young blond woman wearing a blue suit and a red scarf who took it upon herself to run alongside me for several meters, spraying my face with a bottle of water.

And I can still remember, after we’d passed the park with the kangaroos, the hills before Newton, in particular the most difficult to climb, Heartbreak Hill, which precedes the prestigious Boston College, whose gothic tower spiked with four spires irresistibly reminds all Parisian competitors of the slender silhouette of the Saint-Jacques Tower.

Finally, I remember the route’s gentle decline toward Boston after that last climb that heralds the Charles River, and how, although exhausted, my companions and I were transported by an increasing mass of spectators who were more and more enthusiastic the closer we got to the finish line, where we were taken into the care of an army of volunteers who carried us off to rest and regain our strength.

Despite appearances, Rosie Ruiz’s fraud, if ever proven; the fantastical filter Marco Polo used to describe China to his beloved; and Margaret Mead reinventing the Samoan Islands with her playful young friends have more than one thing in common.

The first thing they have in common is the fact that we are talking about what I earlier called an imaginary realm, even if in one example a city is concerned. Undoubtedly we find ourselves faced with a different scenario than that of China or the Samoan Islands since a proliferation of concrete details is set against an abstract representation of loci here, reduced to a cord stretched across a finish line. But what the experiences do have in common is the rewriting of space, or, if one prefers, its reconfiguration, allowing the subjects to find themselves in a new place, more fulfilling in terms of fantasy.

The imaginary realm invented by Rosie Ruiz, where, like Peter Pan, she is capable of overcoming the laws of nature and achieving improbable sporting exploits, is modeled on that of childhood, whose privileges she rediscovers for a while. It is a realm where everything is possible: there are no barriers, no limits; dreams can rapidly become reality. It is a place where it is conceivable, for example, to transport oneself, without difficulty and seemingly without time, from one place to another in a city that has become a purely psychological space.

It is this experience of infantile omnipotence that Rosie Ruiz acts out in an imaginary place, completely constructed around the instant she triumphantly crosses the finish line to a cheering public, experiencing a jubilation that presumably resonates with the most distant of her experiences. There is neither distance nor time between desire and its realization in this fantasy space with its dreamlike construction where the pleasure principle overrides the reality principle.

In both cases, this rewriting has an identical goal: to highlight the subject in a state of absolute pleasure. The amorous scenes with Chinese women dreamed up by Marco Polo and the multiple sexual encounters Margaret Mead imagines taking place over the entire Samoan Islands, transformed into a kind of primitive “general scene,” are condensed in this moment of unique self-celebration, its intensity multiplied by the prism of the media, in absolute narcissistic happiness.

So the example set by Rosie Ruiz shows how talk of imaginary realms cannot be understood without introducing a third notion corresponding to the unconscious life of the subject, that of the inner landscape.

Freud used this expression for a while to describe what was repressed in the mind, though finally it wasn’t retained by psychoanalytic theory. “Repression,” he wrote in his Neue Folge der Vorlesungen zur Einführung in die Psychoanalyse (1933), “is for me an inner foreign country (inneres Ausland), just as reality, if you will allow me to use an unusual expression, is an outer foreign country (äusseres Ausland).”4Thus he evoked the image of an inner country or landscape and other related images like those of regions and provinces5 in his search for tropes that would allow him to describe unconscious reality and the words best suited to showing it and thinking about it. It is an image that is a continuation of the propositions he often used to represent the interior of the psyche as a spatial form.

If the notion of an inner landscape is fitting, it is because it expresses how the interior of the psyche is certainly of a topological order, as Freud imagined and as Lacan further intuited with his idea of topology. It can also be thought of in geographical terms, with its landscapes, its elevations, its pits and even its inhabitants, which could include those parts of ourselves that seem to lead their own lives and, at times, be ready to seize autonomy at our expense.6And it is to this fantasy image of an inner landscape that we refer to more or less consciously when we represent the insides of our minds like a region, a country or a city, open or fortified but separated from the others by frontiers that are more or less easy to cross and that assure our protection from the external world, even if we sometimes let down our barriers to certain privileged people.

The inner landscape, which might be another name for the unconscious, has both a collective and an unconscious dimension and is not isolated from the real world. On the contrary, it is behind the transformations to which we subject our representations of reality. And it is when the subject does not find peace there that he undertakes to substitute an imaginary world for the real one, whose geography is influenced by that of the inner landscape, becoming a place where he invents a realm that suits his needs.

If it isn’t possible to know Rosie Ruiz’s inner landscape with any accuracy—that is to say, her unconscious life with its spaces and its inhabitants—we can still try to gain an idea from the traces left in her transformation of the real landscape of Boston into an imaginary realm, reduced in its totalitarian fiction to a space contracted around herself and her virtual exploit.

It is an inner realm that she would have complete mastery of and where she would also have control over space and time, as each of us secretly dreams. It is a place where she would rule without sharing, adored by subjects overwhelmed by admiration, retransmitting to her in a kind of infinite refraction that glorious image that certain self-obsessed rulers have others build for them in the form of statues in all the public spaces in their countries so as to have the pleasure, when walking, of being reflected back at themselves continually.

As we can see, the reproach made to Rosie Ruiz of being incapable of accurately describing the route of the Boston Marathon can be understood in two different ways. First of all, it can be understood in the traditional way as a reproach for having tried to appropriate a title for herself that she had no right to.

But, according to a different kind of logic, it can also be understood as a reproach for not having been enough of a writer and not managing, by attaining that particular kind of truth that literature aims at, to reconfigure space in a sufficiently convincing manner for her readers and listeners to be able to accept it as their own and attempt to inhabit it in their minds.

1.    See the example the eponymous Tartarin de Tarascon sets in Alphonse Daudet’s novel.

2.    VP+

3.    One celebrated case is that of the 1906 Tour de France, in which four cyclists were disqualified for taking the train from Nancy to Dijon.

4.    Sigmund Freud, Neue Folge der Vorlesungen zur Einführung in die Psychoanalyse [New Introductory Lectures on Psycho-Analysis] (Frankfurt am Main: Fischer Taschenburg Verlag, 1981), 50. Unfortunately, the recent Presses Universitaires de France translation has used the expressions “territoire extérieur interne” and “territoire extérieur externe.”

5.    “Superego, ego and id, these are the three empires, regions (Gebiete), provinces (Provinzen), between which we share the psychic apparatus of the individual, and now we are going to focus on their interrelationships.” Ibid., 62.

6.    Later in the text of Neue Folge, Freud constructs a complete allegory around the inner country and its different regions: “I imagine therefore a country whose terrain presents a varied configuration: there are hills, plains and lakes. The population is composed of Germans, Magyars and Slovaks performing various activities. Let us suppose the Germans, cattle-breeders, live on the hills, the Magyars, farmers and winegrowers, live on the plains, and the Slovaks, fishers and weavers, on the edge of the lakes. If this distribution was tidy and absolute, a Wilson would be delighted; geography would be easy to teach. But it is likely that when visiting the region, you would find less order and more confusion. Germans, Magyars and Slovaks sometimes live all mixed up, it is possible to have arable land on the hills and cattle on the plains.” Ibid., 63.

How to Talk About Places You've Never Been 

Pierre Bayard

Monday, August 5, 2024

THE LION

 

The Emperor gave the sign. The iron grille, enclosing the entrance to the tunnel, rose and from the darkness came a crescendo of menacing roars. In the centre of the arena a group of Christians drew closer together. The spectators were on their feet. Excited chatter, cries of fear and the roar approaching like an avalanche. From the tunnel emerged the first lioness moving swiftly and silently. The spectacle had begun.

Armed with a long pole the keeper of the lions, Gaius, was checking if all the beasts had gone into the arena to take part in the terrible entertainment. He was about to give a sigh of relief when he noticed that one lion had stopped just short of the entrance and was calmly chewing a carrot. Gaius swore. One of his duties was to ensure that no beast remained idle. He approached the lion as far as safety and health regulations permitted and prodded the animal’s rump with his pole. To his surprise the lion only turned his head and swung his tail. Gaius prodded again, harder this time.

“Oh, leave me alone,” said the lion.

Gaius scratched his head. The lion had made it crystal clear that it did not wish to go into the arena. Gaius was a kind man but he was afraid that if the supervisor caught him neglecting his duties he would soon find himself among the victims in the arena.

On the other hand he did not feel like arguing with the lion. He tried persuasion.

“Perhaps you’ll go out just for my sake?”

“I’m no fool,” replied the lion and continued to eat his carrot.

Gaius lowered his voice.

“I’m not saying that you have to jump at one of those wretches and tear him to pieces. Just go and run about a little and roar. That’ll give us an alibi.”

The lion swung his tail.

“Man, I’ve told you that I’m no fool. They’ll see me and remember me. Later nobody will believe that I didn’t eat one of them.”

The keeper sighed and asked with an accent of complaint: “And why don’t you want to?”

The lion looked at him attentively.

“You’ve yourself used the word ‘alibi’. Hasn’t it occurred to you why all those patricians there don’t run into the arena and themselves tear the Christians to pieces, but instead rely on us, the lions?”

“Oh, I don’t know. They are mostly old men. Short of breath, you know. Asthma. …”

“Old men,” purred the lion mockingly. “You know a lot about politics. They simply want to have an alibi.”

“Why?”

“Because of the new truth that is gaining ground. One has always to watch what’s new and growing. Has it never crossed your mind that the Christians could come to power?”

“They—to power?”

“Yes. One has got to be able to read between the lines. It looks to me as if Constantine the Great is likely to come to terms with them sooner or later. And then what? Investigations and rehabilitations. Then those up there in the amphitheatre will be able to say: ‘It wasn’t us, it was the lions.’ ”

“Really, I never thought of it that way.”

“There you are. But never mind them. I want to save my own skin. When it comes to it there will be witnesses to say that all I did was to eat a carrot. Mind you, it’s filthy stuff, this carrot.”

“But all your comrades,” said Gaius not without malice, “they are all gobbling up the Christians with great gusto.”

“Stupid beasts. Short-sighted opportunists. No tactical sense at all. From darkest Africa——”

“I say,” interrupted Gaius.

“Yes?”

“Should those Christians, you know …”

“What about them?”

“Should they come to power …”

“Well?”

“Will you then testify that I didn’t force you to do anything?”

“Salus Respublicae summa lex tibi esto,” said the lion sententiously and returned to his carrot.


SŁAWOMIR MROŻEK

The Elephant

Sunday, May 26, 2024

Murdoch Murdoch – Never Forget the Greatest Generation

In this classic Murdoch Murdock satirical video Allied soldiers – just before storming the French coast on D-Day (May 6, 1944) – give their reasons for being prepared to die in the name of multi-racialism, multi-culturalism, LBGTism, communism, and the destruction of White societies that are to follow following the defeat of Germany.

– KATANA]

Transcript

Captain: All right men! Nazi occupied Europe lies before you! Many of you will die here today, but all of you are heroes! Let us take this moment before we engage our enemy to remember what it is that we fight for.

Thomas, are you prepared to die today?

Thomas: Yes sir!

Captain: And what are you prepared to die for?

Thomas: Sir, I’d gladly give my life for the future of our country. Future where all negroes use the same water fountain as us, and go to the same schools as our kids. [flag waving and cheering]

Captain: And you Tyler, why do you fight.

Tyler: Sir! I’m fighting so that in the future our daughters can abandon motherhood and join the workforce, to be like men! [flag waving and cheering]

Captain: That’s right Tyler! Our society doesn’t need mothers. It needs more worker units, in a non-binary capitalistic, soul-crushing, machine!

James, what are your hopes for the future?

James: Well I just want my granddaughter to pop out as many welfare-supported mulatto babies as possible! [flag waving and cheering]

Captain: I’m sure all of us would recognize our White privilege, and would agree, we should offer up one of our granddaughters to the superior African bull.

Now let’s hear from Nigel, from the Royal Army. What are you fighting for soldier?

Nigel: Well sir, I would say my greatest hope would be to see a Muslim Mayor of London, one day! But the truth is, I aspire for something even greater! That some day no Muslim sex criminal will be punished in our kingdom again! [flag waving and cheering]

Captain: John Pierre, why did you join us on this most holy crusade?

John Pierre: Well, my Capitan, I wish to see those German invaders pushed out of France, so that on one glorious day it can be occupied permanently by a tidal wave of sub-Saharan Muslim invaders!

Captain: We should all be so lucky as to be replaced by a tidal wave of sub-Saharan Muslim invaders! [flag waving and cheering]

Thomas: How about you Captain? Why do you fight?

Captain: I fight so that one day a black man can be President of the United States! And use his authority to force bakeries to make cakes for homosexual weddings!

For schools to allow transsexuals to use whatever bathroom they want!

So that my great-grandchildren will be burdened with debt at the beginning of their adult lives for a worthless degree from a Marxist educational system! [flag waving and cheering]
 
Thomas: Well that’s beautiful Captain!

What about you, Frank?

Frank: Well, I want to help free the jewish people from the “Holocaust” camps! So that they can hang guilt over us for nine centuries, while they quietly take over every institution of our society, from finance and education, to media and government bureaucracy! [flag waving and cheering]

Captain: They are truly god’s chosen people! And we should submit before their superiority!

What about you Isaiah? Aren’t you from the tribe?

Isaiah: Well, I’m just here to support our communist allies. So that they can rape Eastern Europe for a couple of generations, and murder tens of millions of people in China!

Captain: Well communism is the way of the future, boys.

Remember folks, the Nazis are the bad guys! And we’re the heroes!

Are you ready?

John Pierre: Viva la France!

Nigel: For King and Country!

All: For our future!

Screen Text: ALL OF THEM DIED THAT DAY BUT THROUGH THEIR SACRIFICE THEIR DREAMS WERE REALIZED.

Never Forget the Greatest Generation
Source →

Thursday, April 25, 2024

Adventures of ahimsa follower - 1

Part 2 →

 Ozarksville, Missouri. Rhoda May Gruber. Mrs. Efrim’s hold-up man. George Brush’s criminal record: Incarceration No. 3.

In spite of the absorbing occupation that entered his life with the appearance of Elizabeth and the problems of her education, George Brush’s mind was filled with the coming interview on Sunday. In order to quiet his anticipation he decided to fill in the time with work. There were a number of professional calls in the vicinity waiting to be made, but first he decided to journey some distance and confer with a certain mathematics teacher and high-school principal at Ozarksville in lower Missouri. Arriving at the town, he discovered that he had more than a day’s free time on his hands—the man he had come to see was away on a tour of inspection in the rural districts—and he decided to put into practice a plan that had long appealed to him. He resolved to pass a day in silence, following the example of his master, Gandhi. From four o’clock on Thursday until four o’clock on Friday not a word would pass his lips; and to mark the occasion still more solemnly he decided that not a particle of food would enter them.

He now communicated with the outside world by means of paper and pencil. The staff of the Baker Hotel was astonished to discover that its guest had been visited by so sudden an attack of laryngitis. On Thursday night, Mr. Baker, staring at the sky from the railing of his veranda, asked Brush whether he thought it was going to snow. Brush drew out his pad and gravely wrote the word, “No.” He was mistaken. The next morning he woke up to find that it had been snowing during the night; it grew warmer, however, the snow changed to rain and presently cleared to a mild winter day. He spent the morning in his room, light-headed from hunger, but rendered strangely happy by what he took to be the spiritual benefits of the experiment. Soon after two o’clock he started out for a walk, having put some apples in his pocket in anticipation of the stroke of four. He was strolling down a street looking at the houses to right and left when his glance fell upon an arresting sight. A little girl was sitting on the front steps of a house and a few yards from the sidewalk; around her neck was a placard which read, “I AM A LIAR.” Brush stared at the little girl and the little girl, pursing up her mouth importantly, stared at him. He hesitated only a moment, however. He walked up the path to the house and, drawing out his pencil and pad, wrote:

“What is your name?”

The little girl took his writing materials from him and wrote, “Rhoda May Gruber.”

“You can talk?” wrote Brush.

Rhoda May insisted on being given the pencil and paper again. She wrote, “Yes.”

“How long have you been here?”

“Ten years.”

“Talk. You can talk,” wrote Brush.

“Yes,” wrote Rhoda May, “only I cannot talk now because I have been noty.”

“Are your father and mother home?”

“Yes.”

Brush hesitated, but it was too late. The Grubers had become aware of the unusual conversation on their front steps. They came out upon the porch.

“What’s goin’ on here?” asked Mr. Gruber, darkly.

Brush smiled reassuringly up at him.

Mrs. Gruber said, shrilly: “Rhoda May, git up off that step. Come here to me.”

Mr. Gruber followed her with his eyes. “Take that thing off your neck,” he said. “What did this man say to you?”

Mrs. Gruber gave Rhoda May a sharp pull and clutched her to her skirts. Rhoda May began to cry. Mr. Gruber turned back to Brush.

“What do you want? Eh? What is it you want?”

Brush began writing on his pad.

“You’re deef-’n’-dumb, is that it?”

Brush shook his head, still smiling.

“You’re not deef-’n’-dumb? Then what is it? . . . Rhoda May, what did this man say to you? . . . There’s something funny about this,” he said, raising his eyebrows significantly. “You’d better run over to the Jones’ telephone and call Mr. Warren or the sheriff.” Then he turned back to Brush. “What is it you want? Are you selling something?”

Brush raised his head from his work, shook it, pointed at Rhoda May, then at the placard, and went back to his writing.

Rhoda May’s wails rose louder. Her father slapped her smartly and roared: “Git in the house. Git in there. . . . You git in there, too, Mary. I’ll tend to this.”

Mrs. Gruber put out one trembling hand. “Now do be careful, Herman.”

Brush now presented his statement: “I will be back later to talk to you about that punishment. I think you’ll see what I mean.”

Whereupon, walking down the path backwards, with gestures of cordiality, he returned to the sidewalk.

“You show up here again,” called Gruber, “and I’ll lick the hide off you, d’ya hear? I’ll get the police on you, d’ya hear?”

Brush nodded, making gestures of pacification with his hands.

“You come around here and I’ll knock your teeth out!” bellowed Gruber, and went into the house, slamming the door on Rhoda May’s howls.

Four o’clock found Brush several miles from town, stumbling about in the mud of the road. As he looked at his watch and found that the vow was accomplished, he was filled with a satisfaction that was almost ecstasy. He turned back toward the town and did a quarter of an hour’s running, then slowed down and ate an apple. He gazed with affection at the squatters’ frame cabins, at the hound dogs that hesitantly approached the gates in the wire fences, at the chickens that had ventured out in the pale wintry sunshine. The path amid the dried weeds at the side of the road gave way to a sidewalk of planks. In the distance he could see a few rusty automobiles drawn up before the long arcade made by the projecting fronts of the stores beside the post-office.

At the edge of the town he came upon a store, or rather two stores thrown into one, that bore a sign: “N. Efrim, Dry Goods and Notions.” One door had been boarded up. In the windows lay a disordered mass of such objects as dress patterns, slates, kites, and licorice whips. It occurred to Brush that he might buy some milk chocolate here, and seeing a row of dolls in the window, that he might take one of them as a peace-offering to the Grubers.

Mrs. Efrim was sitting by the window, knitting, when Brush entered the store. She was a wrinkled old woman with the head of an intelligent and dolorous monkey. Over a thick woolen dress she was wearing a frayed sweater, and over the sweater a short greenish-black cape trimmed with rusty braid. She pushed her spectacles farther down her nose and looked over them at Brush.

“I’d . . . I’d like a doll, please,” said Brush.

Mrs. Efrim laid aside her knitting and, putting her hands on her knees, painfully rose to her feet. They inspected the dolls together.

“It’s for a girl ten years old,” said Brush. “I guess you may know her. Her name’s Rhoda May Gruber.”

Mrs. Efrim nodded. Brush told her about the placard.

“Ain’t that terrible, now!” said Mrs. Efrim.

They looked at one another and became great friends. Both were pining for conversation. They agreed that that was no way to bring up children. Brush, a little mysteriously, alluded to the fact that the bringing up of little girls had recently become a problem in his life. Mrs. Efrim had six children and Brush was glad to hear about their good and bad traits. He suddenly remembered that he was hungry, and offered Mrs. Efrim an apple, adding that he had eaten nothing for twenty-four hours, but that he felt fine. When he came to pay for the doll and the milk chocolate he laid a ten-dollar bill on the counter. Mrs. Efrim, making change, had a moment’s hesitation before the cash register.

“I’ll go and change it at the drug store,” said Brush.

“No, no. I have it. You’ll see. I have it fine, only it’s hid.”

“Hid?”

Mrs. Efrim looked at him and nodded mysteriously. “It don’t do to have money in the till these days. No, sir. It don’t hurtyour knowing where it’s kep’. Look!” Whereupon she put her hand behind a bolt of cloth and drew out a packet of one dollar bills and pushing aside some spools of ribbon came upon a store of fives. “That’s the way we do it.”

“I see.”

The purchase was completed, but Brush lingered on, looking about the shop enviously.

“Young man,” said Mrs. Efrim, who had again seated herself by the window, “do you know how to thread a needle?”

“I certainly do, Mrs. Efrim. I can sew pretty well, too.”

“Well, my eyes aren’t as good as they used to be. My children—every morning before they go off to school and to work—every morning they thread me up five or six needles, but sometimes they give out. Now, if you could thread me two or three needles . . .”

“I’d like to.”

So it was that when the hold-up man entered Mrs. Efrim’s store he came upon Brush standing by the window, threading needles.

“Stick up your hands,” he roared. “Stick’m up, you two!”

“Ach Gott!” cried Mrs. Efrim.

“Stand where you are and keep your mouths shut. One peep out of you and you’re dead. Do you speak English?—Eh? Spika Inglis?”

“Yes,” replied Brush and Mrs. Efrim.

“All right, then. Now stay where you are.”

This burglar was a nervous young man, new to the work and considerably hampered by the fact that the bandana handkerchief which he had tied about his nose was continually slipping and falling about his shoulders. He was given to crouching and glaring, and what he lacked in terrifying appearance he tried to make up for by shouting and by pointing his revolver squarely at the noses of his victims. He slowly crept over to the counter, keeping his eyes and his aim on Brush, opened the cash register and swept the silver change out of the drawer. Then he began uncertainly looking about for objects of value. Brush and Mrs. Efrim stood side by side with arms upraised. Brush’s face shone with happy excitement. He glanced downward, trying to meet Mrs. Efrim’s eyes in an exchange of intimate amusement.

“What are you laughing at, you big hyena,” said the burglar. “Wipe that smile off your face or I’ll plug you.”

Brush assumed a grave expression, and the burglar continued his search. There was a long pause, filled only by the rumblings in Brush’s famished stomach.

At last the burglar turned and said: “I didn’t come in here for two dollars and a quarter, you two. There’s some more money somewhere here and I’m going to get it.” He addressed Brush: “Take off your coat and throw it on the floor,—here by me. One extra move from you and you get it in the belly. Do you hear?”

“Yes,” said Brush.

The burglar rested the revolver on the counter, retied the bandana about his face, and carefully went through Brush’s pockets. He found two apples, a purse containing two dollars, a nail file, copies ofKing Lear and other classics, some newspaper clippings about India and an application for a marriage license.“Can I say something?” asked Brush.

“What the hell’s the matter with you—can you say something? What is it?”

“There’s hardly any money in that coat, but I know where you can find some. . . . I’ll pay you back, Mrs. Efrim, when it’s all over.”

The burglar stared at Brush, pointing the revolver at his eyes. “Well, where is it?”

“I won’t say anything if you point that gun at me like that,” said Brush. “You ought to know better than that.”

“What’s the matter with you?”

“You don’t really mean to kill us, but you might kill us by accident.”

“I don’t, eh?”

“No, of course not. Notkill. Never point a gun at a person. That’s a rule everybody ought to know.”

“Well, Ido mean to shoot you, so keep your face shut. Now where’s this money you were talking about?”

“Iwant to tell you about it, but I won’t tell you until you point that gun at the window.”

The burglar turned the barrel a fraction to the left and shouted, “All right now, spit it out.”

“You’ll find some money on the shelf behind the cash register,” said Brush, calmly, “behind that roll of blue cloth.”

“Gott—enu!” cried Mrs. Efrim. “How can you tell him that! You’re crazy! Telling him that!”

The man was looking at the bolt of cloth suspiciously: “So you say! So you say! What’s the trick, eh?”

Brush said in a low, urgent whisper to Mrs. Efrim: “I’ll pay you back, Mrs. Efrim. He needs it a lot more than we do. I swear to you you won’t lose a cent.” Then he continued to the burglar, “And there’s some more in five-dollar bills behind those spools of ribbon.”

Mrs. Efrim wailed still more loudly than before. Brush entered into an earnest debate with her. The hold-up man, still distrustful of the hiding-places, tried to follow the argument.

“You see, Mrs. Efrim, this is very interesting to me, because I have a theory about thieves and robbers. I’ll explain it to you afterwards. Really, I’ll pay you it all back.”

“I don’t want your money. I want my own,” said Mrs. Efrim.

The hold-up man finally outshouted them: “Say, shut up, you two. What’s the idea? Who do you think I am, anyway? I’m not fooling. I’m serious. Now what’s all this about money over here?”

Brush repeated the directions. The man extracted the money from its hiding-places.

“All right, now. Where’s some more. Out with it.”

“That’s all I know about over there,” said Brush, “but if you’ll let me put my hand down I’ll get you some I have here.”

“Where?”

“In my . . . my watch pocket, here.”

“Say, what is this?” cried the man, as though in pain. “You keep your hands up or I’ll shoot you.”

“Well, I’d like to give you twenty dollars I have here.”

“Keep your hands up! Say, are you yellow or cuckoo, or what? Keep your hands up. Where’s this money?”

Brush motioned with his chin toward the pocket.

There was silence for a moment while they stared at one another.

Brush said, quietly: “You want money, don’t you? That’s what you came for. Well, I want to give you some. You need it a lot more than I do. Only you won’t let me put my hand down to get it.”

At that moment a gust of wind flung open the warped door of Mrs. Efrim’s shop and then slammed it shut with a tremendous detonation. The current of air rushed through the room, tossing the window curtains toward the ceiling and flinging a shower of the exposed objects over the floor. The burglar was so alarmed that the gun went off in his hand and the bullet shattered the window pane. Mrs. Efrim, wailed louder than ever. The burglar let fall the revolver, jumped across the counter, and sank on one knee, still crying: “What is this, anyway? What’s going on here?”

Brush picked up the gun and planted himself in the middle of the room. With furrowed brow, he pointed the barrel towards a corner of the ceiling.

“Nowyou hold up your hands,” he said. “I don’t believe in weapons of any kind, but I want you to stay there while I say something.”

The hold-up man, swearing softly, stooped so that only his eyes appeared above the counter. Mrs. Efrim began pulling at Brush’s sleeve, “Now, you make him give back that money before you do another thing.”

“No, Mrs. Efrim, no! Don’t you understand? This is a kind of experiment. We’re going to give this man a new start in life, don’t yousee? I’ll pay you back every cent that he’s taken.”

“I don’t want your money. I want my own money. That’s all I want. And I’m going to phone Mr. Warren this minute.”

“No, Mrs. Efrim.”

“Yes, I will.”

“Mrs. Efrim,” said Brush severely, “you move over there and put up your hands.”

“Ach, g’rechter Gott!”

“Put up your hands, Mrs. Efrim. I’m sorry, but I know what I’m doing. Burglar,” continued Brush, quietly, “what’s your name?”

There was no answer.

“Do you know a trade of any kind?”

More silence.

“Have you been holding up people long?”

“Oh, shoot me and get this over with,” muttered the burglar, contemptuously, but remained in hiding behind the counter. Brush was not abashed. He continued:

“I’m going to see that you leave this store with about fifty dollars in all. That’ll give you room and board for a while. You go somewhere where you can think things over. Now listen. Even I can see that you’ll never be a very good hold-up man.”

Brush was entering into a discourse on the rewards of honesty when an unfortunate interruption occurred. A customer opened the door of the shop, an old woman who promptly put her hand over her mouth and screamed through it:

“Why, Mrs. Efrim, what’s the trouble?”

“I don’t know, Mrs. Robinson,” replied Mrs. Efrim, sullenly. “I don’t know at all.”

Brush turned his head a fraction and said, curtly: “You can’t come in now because we’re busy here. Come back in half an hour.”

“Mrs. Efrim,” gasped Mrs. Robinson, “I’ll call Mr. Warren,” and disappeared.

“That woman’s coming in here has spoiled everything,” said Brush, lowering his gun with an impatient sigh. “I guess we’ll have to hurry.—Mrs. Efrim, there’s a way he can escape through the back of the house, isn’t there?”

“Don’t ask me no questions,” replied Mrs. Efrim. “I’m not going to tell you a thing.”

Brush walked up to the counter and laid some bills on it. “Here’s your money,” he said to the burglar. “The price of the gun’s in it, too. Now you can go. You’d better go out through there.”

The man snatched up the money and, sidling about the room, filled up his cheeks with air, made an explosive sound, and dashed out of the door.

Brush put down the gun carefully. “That was awfully interesting, wasn’t it?” he said, with a constrained laugh. “Now I want to pay you what I owe you.”

Mrs. Efrim did not answer. She crossed the room and closed the till with a bang.

“Mrs. Efrim, don’t be mad at me. I had to act that way to live up to my ideals.”

“You’re crazy.”

“No, I’m not.”

“You are. You’re crazy. Whoever heard of anybody going out of their way to give money to a burglar. Yes, and letting him go free, too. No, I won’t take your money. Look at all that’s been took from you already. Now go away before the police come and arrest you.”

“I’m not afraid of the police.”

“Now you mind what I say—go away.”

“Mrs. Efrim, if I’d done anything wrong I’d apologize. I owe you about thirty-five dollars . . .”

Mr. Warren, the town constable, appeared at the door followed by some men and by Mrs. Robinson.

“Now come out quiet,” commanded Mr. Warren. “Hold up your hands and come quiet.”

Brush said to Mrs. Efrim, smiling: “He thinks I did it! . . . Here I am, Officer.” Mr. Warren handcuffed him. “Oh—oh, Mr. Warren,” said Brush. “I hope I can eat with those things on, because I haven’t eaten anything but an apple for twenty-four hours and I’m very hungry.”

“Lock up your store and come with us, Mrs. Efrim,” said Mr. Warren. “We’ll want your story of what’s been going on.”

“There’s nothing to tell,” said Mrs. Efrim, shrilly. “It was just foolishness. No, I’m not going to leave this store. No, I’m not.”

The officer insisted, however, and presently the procession was making its way down Main Street. As luck would have it Mr. and Mrs. Gruber were standing under the arcade.

“Look! Herman, look!” cried Mrs. Gruber, catching her husband’s arm. “That’s the man!—The kidnapper!”

“Charley Warren,” said Mr. Gruber, “I charge that man with attempting to kidnap my daughter Rhoda May.”

“Follow in behind, Herman,” said Warren.

When they reached the jail, Brush was shown into a cell. He ate another apple, sighed heavily and went to sleep.

Thorton Wilder

Heaven's My Destination 

Adventures of ahimsa follower - 2

 Part one →

(...)

George Brush had already become a legend of terror in the town, and by two o’clock the courtroom was filled with spectators sitting in a church-going silence. When Brush entered and took his place the silence became even more profound; the room held its breath. Brush’s lips were pressed tightly together and he was paler than usual, but he looked about him with an unabashed glance. Judge Carberry had been for thirty-five years the best-known citizen in town, but when he entered all eyes rested upon him as though for the first time. He looked about him wearily, blew his nose, and sat down. He was a bald old man with small black eyes and a pointed nose set in a myriad of wrinkles that read kindliness, disillusion, and boredom. He was vexed by the unaccustomed throng and today pushed even farther than usual his habitual contempt for the procedure of the law. He grunted a few instructions to the clerk, who began to expedite matters furiously. While the charges were being read he artfully adjusted the screen of books—a vast bulwark of Blackstone—behind which it was his custom to read during sessions. He was hurrying through George Eliot and looked forward to a review ofWaverly in the spring.“. . . attempted kidnapping,” mumbled the clerk “. . . aiding and abetting larceny . . . pleads not guilty . . . undertakes his own defense . . .”

Mr. Warren was called. “Wa-all, I got this here phone call from Mrs. Robinson that there was this hold-up goin’ on over to Mrs. Efrim’s store; so I . . .”

The judge stole a paragraph or two ofAdam Bede, then raised his head. “Both these charges against the same person?” he asked, dryly.

“Yes, Your Honor.”

“Same day?”

“Yes, Your Honor.”

The judge let his eyes fall on Brush in a cool, contemptuous glance. Brush returned his gaze without flinching. There was a silence. Brush raised his hand. “May I speak, Your Honor?” he asked.

For a moment it seemed as though the judge had not heard him. “What do you wish to say?”

“Your Honor, I think you ought to know there is no case here at all.”

“Indeed?”

“Yes, it’s all a misunderstanding. And if you’ll let me tell my account of it right now we can all be out of the court building in fifteen minutes. Also, Your Honor, I can explain the case of Mr. Burkin, who you’re going to see after me, and that’s just a misunderstanding, too.”

“Have you ever been brought before a court before?”

“No, Your Honor.” Then he added, with some difficulty. “But I’ve been arrested before.”

“Oh, you have?”

“Yes, but they were misunderstandings, too. I was let go in an hour.”

“Would you feel able to tell the court what you were arrested for, and where?”

“I’d be glad to, Your Honor.”

“We should be glad to hear it.”

“The first time was in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. I was arrested for riding in a Jim Crow car. I believe in the equality of races, Your Honor, in the brotherhood of man, and I rode in the Jim Crow car to show that I believed it. They arrested me. The second time—”

Judge Carberry stopped him with a gesture of the hand. The judge looked slowly and a little dazedly over the spell-bound audience, then turned toward the court stenographer as though to make sure that this testimony was being recorded. He then looked at the tops of the windows as though he were debating as to whether he should issue orders for new sashes. Finally his gaze returned to Brush. He blew his nose and said, politely, “Kindly continue.”

“The second time was about a month ago in Armina, Oklahoma. I was drawing out my savings from a savings-bank and I told the president of the bank that in my opinion savings-banks are practically immoral. They arrested me for that.”

“Had you any reason to think that the bank was unsound?”

“I didn’t mean that, Your Honor. I meant that all banks like that are due to fear and breed fear in the people. It’s a theory of mine and it takes quite a while to explain.”

“I see,” said the judge. “Your ideas aren’t the same as most people’s, are they?”

“No,” said Brush. “I didn’t put myself through college for four years and go through a difficult religious conversion in order to have the same ideas as other people have.”

Again the judge allowed his astonished gaze to wander about the room. He saw Mrs. Efrim, sitting in the midst of her six children, all dressed in their best clothes and staring up at him with awe-struck eyes. He saw the Grubers and Rhoda May scrubbed to startling pinkness and wearing a starched white party dress. “You may be seated,” he said to Brush, then mumbling a few words to the clerk, he left the room. He went to the telephone and called up his wife. He talked slowly with many pauses and with an affected indifference.

“Oh, Emma,” he said, looking down his nose and scratching his cheek. “. . . euh . . . euh . . . better get your sewing and come down to the courthouse.”

“What do you mean, Darwin?”

“Well . . . well . . . you might be interested in something that’s going on here.”

“Now, Darwin, if it’s something improper, you know I don’t like such things.”

The judge slowly passed his tongue over his front teeth. “No . . . oh, no . . . perfectly proper.”

“Well, what is it, Darwin?”

“. . . there’s a type here . . . little out of the ordinary. Better come down. Bring your sewing.”

“Now, Darwin, I won’t have you tormenting some poor prisoner. I know you. I know you and I won’t have it.”

The judge’s shoulders shook. “Prisoner’s tormenting me, Emma . . . seems like. We’re putting on a little show today. Call up Fred and see if he’s free. You can bring Lucile, too.”

Fred Hart had been mayor of Ozarksville for twenty years. Lucile was his wife. The Harts and the Carberrys had played bridge together three nights a week for a longer time than that.

“Well, if I come down I want you to behave, Darwin. I’ve told you a thousand times I don’t like you when you’re sarcastic.”

The judge returned to the bench. He gave the prisoner an awe-inspiring glance. He saw to it that the court marked time until the arrival of his wife. Mr. Gruber was sworn in and told his story of indignant virtue . . . only and treasured child. He dwelt upon the peekyuliar behavior of the accused, his pretense of being unable to speak. The whole court could see for itself that the accused could speak as well as anyone else. Brush raised his hand, but the judge sharply ordered him to lower it. Gruber droned on and the judge caught half a chapter ofAdam Bede. Mrs. Gruber was called and gave a flighty, incoherent account of the affair. At last the judge saw his wife and the Harts slipping into the last row of seats. He put a book mark into his volume and laid it to one side. Mrs. Gruber was dismissed and Brush was called upon.“What’s your business, young man, and what are you doing in Ozarksville?”

“I travel for Caulkins and Company, publishers of textbooks for school and college. I came to town to call on Superintendent MacPherson.”

“I see. Have you ever had an impediment in your speech?”

“No, Your Honor.”

“Did you have laryngitis yesterday?”

“No, Your Honor.”

“Can you explain why you pretended to be incapable of speech yesterday?”

“Yes, Your Honor, easily.”

“I should like to hear it.”

“Your Honor,” began Brush, “I am very interested in Gandhi.”

The judge laid down his pencil sharply and said, in a loud voice: “Young man, you will please give me the answers to my questions and nothing else.”

Brush squared his shoulders. “I am, Your Honor. It’s the only way I can answer them. I . . . I’ve been studying Gandhi’s ideas lately and—”

Judge Carberry threw an ecstatic glance at his wife, then drawing his hand down his face he roared: “Stop that! Stop it right now! I will not be made a fool of in my own courtroom. Young man, this is no time for desultory conversation. Do you realize that you’re standing here under two very serious charges? Do you?”

“Yes,” said Brush, his jaws set.

The judge lowered his eyes and said, more quietly: “Now continue and let’s have no nonsense.”

Brush remained silent. There was a long pause.

The judge looked up. “Do you wish to add contempt of court to your other charges? Do you—Very well. Young man, perhaps you do not understand your position here. You have been charged with two offenses, either of which might send you to state prison for a very long time. You have been in Ozarksville for a little less than two days and already you have drawn across it a trail—a trail, I say—of suspicion and confusion such as it has not seen in fifteen years. And yet you conduct yourself before mefrivolously, yes,frivolously in open court.”

Brush turned even paler, but remained firm. “I’m not afraid of anything or anybody, Your Honor,” he said. “All I want to do is to tell the truth, and you keep misunderstanding me.”

“Well, begin again, then. And if you bring up the name of Gandhi again I shall put you in jail for a few days, where you can cool off.”

Brush wiped his forehead. “The reason I didn’t talk to anybody yesterday until four o’clock was that I had taken a vow of silence,” he said.

The judge suddenly grasped the connection. When he reappeared, still panting, from behind his barrier of books, he glanced at his wife. Mrs. Carberry shook her fist at him.

“I see. Go on,” he said.

“That vow of silence,” continued Brush, “was in imitation of a certain leader in India. Soon after two o’clock I went out for a walk. I saw that girl sitting on the steps of her house. She had a sign around her neck that said ‘I am a liar.’ ”

“What?” asked the judge.

“ ‘I am a liar.’ ”

When this confusion was cleared up, everyone took a deep breath and the judge took a drink of water. He asked, “What was your purpose in approaching the child?”

“I didn’t think that was any way to punish a child. I think lying’s a bad thing, but I don’t think that’s the way to punish a child that does lying.”

“I see. Are you a father, may I ask?”

Brush was silent a moment. “No,” he said, in a low voice. “I don’t think I am.”

“Ibeg your pardon?” asked the judge, learning forward.

“Not that I know of,” said Brush.

Judge Carberry shuffled the papers on his desk. “Well, we won’t go into that now,” he said. He then asked, loudly, “Is this little girl in court?”

Rhoda May was led to the witness stand. She was given laborious instructions about the oath and the Bible, but she entered into the proceedings with perfect assurance and unbounded enjoyment.

“Will you tell us what happened, Rhoda?” asked the judge.

Rhoda May turned and faced the audience. She kept her eyes proudly fixed on her mother’s face. For a moment she turned back to the judge. “My name’s Rhoda May,” she said. “I was sitting at my house and that man came up the walk to my house and I knew he was a bad man right away.”

“Why were you sitting on the steps, Rhoda May?”

“Because I’d been bad.”

“Yes, and what did this man do?”

“He said for me to go away to a bad place, and I said no, because I love papa and mamma best.”

“He asked you to go away with him?”

“Yes, but I didn’t go, because I love papa and mamma best.”

“Rhoda May, be careful. You must tell the truth. Did hesay this with his mouth, or did he write it down?”

“He wrote it down, Judge Car-Berry. But I knew he was a bad man kidnapper right off. He looked at me likethis and then I gave him a good kick. I gave him a good kick. And he began to run away and I ran after him and gave him another good kick in the face, and—”

“Mr. Gruber!” roared the judge.

“Yes, Judge Carberry.”

“Take your daughter home. We will now proceed to the second charge.”

A shocked silence ensued while the Grubers with lowered heads passed down the aisle.

The judge then said in a courteous tone: “Mrs. Efrim, will you be so good as to give us an account of the events that took place in your store yesterday afternoon?”

Mrs. Efrim, rustling in a voluminous black silk dress, edged her way past her children’s knees and took her place on the stand. The judge paid her a deference that touched on gallantry. Her hand was scarcely lowered from the oath when she broke out:

“Judge Carberry, I can’t tell you how terrible I feel to be in court this way. I’ve lived in this town forty years—my husband and I, may his soul be at rest!—without ever coming in this building, beyond paying our taxes in the basement, Judge Carberry.”

“But, Mrs. Efrim, there’s no reflection on yourself. I assure you—”

“You can say what you like, Judge Carberry,” she said, hugging her elbows woefully, “and it’s very kind of you, but it don’t change the facts.”

“Now, now, Mrs. Efrim,” said the judge, leaning forward, “The Court considers it an honor that you should be kind enough to appear here today. Yourself and my friend Nathan Efrim have been among the most respected citizens in this town for many years and the Court holds it a privilege to have you among us today.”

Mrs. Efrim cast a mighty glance at her six openmouthed children and started to tell her story.

“Really, Judge Carberry . . . Your Honor . . . I have no charges to make against that young man. I guess he’s just different from the rest of us, that’s all. Even to this minute I don’t know what happened. At first I thought he was a nice young man.” Here she looked at him a moment. “I don’t know what to think, Your Honor.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Efrim, will you simply tell us what took place.”

“Well, he came in. I was sitting by the window, knitting, when he came in . . . and he hadn’t been there two minutes when it seemed like he began—I don’t know how else to say it, Your Honor—he beganwinding himself into my confidence.”“You don’t say?”

“I don’t know what else I can say. Your Honor, Judge Carberry. There’s nothing he didn’t do. He tried to give me an apple; he threaded me needles—”

“I beg your pardon?”

“He threaded me three-four needles. He asked me my children’s names. He . . . he bought a doll. Yes, sir. He asked me to eat an apple and he said himself he hadn’t eaten a thing for twenty-four hours. And then he . . . and then he got me to show him where my money was hid.”

“Why, Mrs. Efrim, I never heard such a story in my life.”

“Well, it was funny, Your Honor. There’s nothing he didn’t do, but I must say I liked him until he began acting queer when the hold-up man came in.”

“Will you tell us about that, please?”

Mrs. Efrim, however, was unable to tell it. From her confused narrative Judge Carberry received the impression that there were three or more hold-ups, a storm, broken window panes, and some very curious exchanges of money. He thanked her elaborately, however, and she resumed her place among her children, who scarcely so much as dared to look at her sideways, after her excursion into the important world. Mrs. Robinson was called. Her testimony was to the effect that there was no hold-up man with a handkerchief about his face—no one beyond the accused standing in the middle of the store with a revolver in his hand terrorizing Mrs. Efrim. This testimony was confirmed by Mr. Warren.

Finally Brush was called.

“Young man, did you obtain from Mrs. Efrim the secret of the hiding-places of her money?”

“Yes. She . . .”

“Did you tell the hold-up man where her money was hid?”

“Yes, Your Honor, but I meant to pay her back.”

“Did you take the gun yourself and hold up Mrs. Efrim?”

“Yes, but I never meant—”

“Don’t tell me what you meant or what you didn’t mean. All I want is the facts, and the facts speak for themselves, don’t they? Did you allow the hold-up man to escape when you knew the deputy sheriff was coming?”

Brush was silent.

“Are you going to answer that question?”

Brush continued looking stonily before him. The judge waited. Finally he began speaking in a low, penetrating voice:

“You’ve gone into another vow of silence, I suppose? And no wonder! Thereis nothing to say. The facts speak for themselves. You were going to tell me this is all a misunderstanding. You were sure we were going to be out of this courtroom in a quarter of an hour. . . . Put your hand down! . . . You wound your way into Mrs. Efrim’s confidence, did you? You threaded needles for her! You even went so far as to buy a doll, did you? No wonder you found out where she had hidden her money.”

Here the judge was so overcome with pleasure at his own wit that he descended behind the barrier of books and had a fit of coughing. When he emerged he discovered that Brush was descending the steps into the auditorium and apparently intended to leave the building.

“Where are you goingnow?” shouted the judge.

“I won’t be talked to like that, Judge Carberry,” said Brush.

“You’re under arrest; Officer, restrain that man.”

Brush said, “You won’t let me speak!”

“Come back here. You’re under arrest. So you’ve changed your mind? Now you want to talk, do you?—Where are you going?”

“Oh, I’m going to the jail, all right. I’d rather sit in jail and make rope than be treated like you’re treating me, Judge Carberry. You haven’t heard my explanations yet.”

At this moment, to the great excitement of the already dazzled audience, Mrs. Carberry, very red in the face, advanced down the aisle of the auditorium.

“Darwin, you behave yourself,” she said. Then turning to Brush, she added: “Young man, don’t you mind what he says. You tell your story. That’s just his way. He doesn’t mean it. You go back and tell your story.”

“Order! Order!” cried the judge. “Go back to your seat, ma’am, and leave the running of this court to me. . . . Now, Mr. Brush, I’ll give you another chance.” But the judge could not resist the addition of one further embellishment to his afternoon, and called after his retreating wife: “Ma’am, if you attend properly to the running of your home, I shall try to attend to the running of my court.” Whereupon he disappeared behind the bulwark of his Blackstones, from which he presently appeared, much shaken, wiping his eyes. “Mr. Brush,” he said, grandly, “have you an explanation for your astonishing conduct yesterday afternoon?”

“Yes, sir, I have.”

“We are ready to hear it. And kindly remember you are under oath. . . . One minute!” He took a deep drink of water, mopped his face, and bade the stenographer look sharp.

Brush gave a clear and detailed account of the events in Mrs. Efrim’s store. When he had finished, the judge sat in silence a moment, looking at his wife. He took off his glasses, breathed on them, and slowly polished them. The audience followed his movements in silence. He then turned to Mrs. Efrim:

“Mrs. Efrim, have you anything to add or correct in that story?”

“No, Judge Carberry. Everything he said really happened.”

“Well, now at least we have an idea of what this is all about. Now, Mr. Brush, can you explain to the court your reasons for giving Mrs. Efrim’s money to the hold-up man?”

“Yes . . . it’s all based on a theory of mine. I mean on two theories of mine.”

“What!”

“Yes, and a lot of it I owe to Gandhi.”

“There’s Gandhi again!” said the judge, resignedly.

“It’s all based onahimsa, Your Honor, but before I get toahimsa I have to tell you what I think about money.”

So Brush told the court about voluntary poverty.

“And do you live by voluntary poverty?” asked the judge.

“Yes, Your Honor. And the point of that is this: apoor person—even if he’s a millionaire—is a person whose head’s always full of anxious thoughts about money; and a rich person is a person whose head’s not full of anxious thoughts about money.”

“Thank you, Mr. Brush,” said the judge, dryly, “I’m sure we’re all the better today for that thought.”

“And the poorest persons in the world, therefore are beggars and robbers. Now you’ll see what I mean when I say that a robber is a beggar that doesn’t know he’s a beggar.”

“And now, Mr. Brush, I’m going to ask you what good it does to give your money away to these robber-beggars of yours?”

“It’s easy to see that. When you give money to a robber you do two things: you show him that he’s really a beggar at heart, and you make a certain strong impression on his mind that—”

“Yes, you do. You give him the impression that you’re a coward or fool.”

Brush smiled and shook his head. “I think I can explain this idea in another way. It’s my favorite idea in the world and I’ve spent a lot of time on it. Your Honor, I’m a pacifist. If they put me in a battle I wouldn’t shoot anybody. Now suppose that I was in a shell-hole and I met an enemy who was about to shoot me, and suppose I tore the gun out of his hands. Naturally he’d expect me to shoot him, but of course I wouldn’t. That would make an impression on his mind, wouldn’t it?”

“Yes, it would.”

“Well, and if I pointed out some hidden money to a burglar that was trying to steal some money from me, that would make an impression on his mind, too.”

“Yes, it would: I say again they’d think you were a fool.”

“Judge, that might be what they’d call it, but at the back of their minds they would be taught something.”

“Have you finished?”

“Yes, Your Honor.”

“So you gave forty or fifty dollars to a burglar in order to make an impression on his mind?”

“Yes.”

“Suppose that the man in the shell-hole shot you. What becomes of your lesson to him then?”

“Well, Judge,ahimsa would have been in my mind. That’s Gandhi’s word for it, Your Honor. And if somebody hasahimsa in his mind, I believe it has a chance of jumping from mind to mind.”“What becomes ofahimsa, Mr. Brush, if you suddenly come upon a man who’s attacking your sister?”

“Yes, I’ve heard that before. Everybody brings up that argument about your sister being attacked, and I get angry about it. What if a thousand sisters were attacked. Let them be attacked. If the attackers are met withahimsa the attackers will learn about it. That’s the way the idea will spread. Somebody’s sisters—millions of them—are being attacked all the time, and things aren’t getting any better; so it’s time to try a new way to cure it. Let some of your sisters be attacked. Before the new idea can jump around the world from one person’s mind to another’s there will have to be a lot of people attacked.”

“I see. I see. And you want us to go about releasing murderers and thieves, on the chance that this impression is made on their minds. Do you advise the Department of Justice to collect as many thieves as possible and give them each a hundred-dollar bill? Is that it?”

“Well, look how things are now in your system. People go on committing crimes, and the government goes on committing crimes to punish them.”

“Oh, it does!”

“Yes, sir. It’s a crime to kill, and the government does that, and it’s a crime to lock somebody up in a room for years on end, and the government does that by the thousands. The government commits thousands of crimes in a year. And every crime makes more crimes. The only way out of this mess of crimes is to try this other way.”

The judge was silent, stroking his face. The silence was filled by the anxious scribbling of the stenographer and the sounds of automobile horns from the street. He glanced at the audience which sat watching him with fallen jaw.

“And where did you get that idea?” he asked.

“It’s mine and Tolstoi’s.”

While the judge spelled out the name for the stenographer, Brush drew from his pocket a little blue pamphlet,Sayings of Leo Tolstoi, and passed it up.

“Have you any other sources upon your person, Mr. Brush?”

Whereupon Brush began to draw similar little pamphlets from all his pockets. They were gravely passed up to the bench—Epictetus,Thoughts from Edmund Burke, Sayings of Great Statesmen, Sayings of Great Philosophers, Stories from Famous After-Dinner Speakers. The judge passed the books to the stenographer. He then collected himself and said, dryly:

“Well, it’s all sort of poetical and sentimental, Mr. Brush; but it’s all very unlike the facts of life. And it seems to be based upon a profound misunderstanding of the criminal’s mind.”

“I don’t know what you mean by the criminal’s mind, Your Honor. All I mean is, a criminal is a human being who thinks that the whole universe hates him. I think that awful things must go on in your mind when you think that the whole universe hates you. And the certain impression that we try to make on their minds is the impression that they are not hated.”

Again the judge paused. Then he said, “And you expect the United States to—”

Brush interrupted him: “Judge Carberry, people like me, who believe inahimsa—it’s not our business to worry as to whether other people do or not. It’s our business to do it ourselves and to take every chance, like this, to talk about it to other people. It’s the truth and so it’ll spread about the world of its own accord.”

“Mrs. Efrim, do you feel that this explains what this young man did with your money?”

Mrs. Efrim rose hesitantly. “Judge Carberry . . . I guess he means what he says.”

“Court is dismissed,” said the judge.

The clerk said, quickly: “There’s this other man, Your Honor—Burkin, charged with—”

“Court is dismissed,” repeated the judge.

The clerk was required to repeat the announcement a number of times in addition, for the audience remained motionless in its seats, unwilling to quit so bewildering a display, but finally the Carberrys and the Harts took Brush in the mayor’s car to the jail to call on Burkin.

“Let me explain about Burkin,” said Brush. “He’s a—”

“No. Wait ’til we get there,” said the judge.

Burkin sat in his cell, rereadingKing Lear. He was brought into the office.

“What’s it all about?” asked the judge.

Burkin was pale and contemptuous. “You wouldn’t understand,” he said. “You wouldn’t understand. Go and give me your twenty days. I’ve got some letters to write.”

The judge was silent, listening to him gravely.

Burkin continued: “Only leave me Little Rollo here. Big kidnapper and hold-up man. Big public enemy.—The law’s a farce and you know it.”

“Come on,” said the judge. “What is it? Looking in windows?”

Burkin began to tremble and snap his fingers with excitement. “I tell you you wouldn’t understand. Go tell the goddam mayor there never was anybody in Ozarksville who ever understood anything and there never will be.”

Brush was suffering acutely. “Let me explain?” he asked, in a whisper.

“All right, Brush. What’s the matter with your friend?”

Brush explained.

The judge turned to Burkin. “Even I can understand that, Burkin,” be said. “Gentlemen, would you rather have your supper here in the jail or would you rather find it somewhere else? Have either of you got a car?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I don’t want to hurry you, gentlemen, but it would be less embarrassing for us if you decided to eat in some other town.”

The prisoners gathered their things together and went down the hall.

Judge Carberry put his hand on Brush’s shoulder and stopped him. Brush stood still and looked at the ground. The judge spoke with effort:

“Well, boy . . . I’m an old fool, you know . . . in the routine, in the routine. . . . Go slow; go slow. See what I mean? I don’t like to think of you getting into any unnecessary trouble. . . . The human race is pretty stupid, . . . Doesn’t do any good to insult ’m. Go gradual. See what I mean?”

“No,” said Brush, looking up quickly, puzzled.

“Most people don’t like ideas. Well,” he added, clearing his throat, “if you do get into any trouble, send me a telegram, see? Let me see what I can do.”

Brush didn’t understand any of this. “I don’t know what you mean by trouble,” he said. “But thanks a lot, Judge.”

They shook hands and Brush climbed into the car beside Burkin. Burkin bent over the wheel with a black expression on his face, but Brush waved back at the judge, the mayor and the warden and disappeared down the street.

From: Heaven's My Destination 

Thorton Wilder