The American Civil War shaped both Bierce's literary career and, ultimately, his fate. He fought in some of that conflict's bloodiest battles and was wounded several times, once taking a bullet in the head. The carnage only confirmed his already saturnine view of human nature. After the war, Bierce washed up in San Francisco, penniless and without any prospects. He fell into a job on a local newspaper and rapidly made his name as one of California's fiercest crusading journalists, attacking craven politicians and robber barons. In 1880, Bierce began writing a column for the Wasp newspaper called "The Devil's Dictionary." Over the next thirty years, he delighted readers with his diabolical definitions of everything from "abasement" to "zoology."He also started writing short stories, many of which were based on his Civil War experiences and featured occult or supernatural occurrences. Bierce adopted an appropriately dark persona, too. He dressed in black, carried a revolver (for self-defense, he claimed), and displayed a human skull and a box containing the ashes of his deceased son on his desk. In 1913, at the age of seventy-one, Bierce disappeared. Rumors circulated that he was a secret government agent, that he had been killed while fighting alongside Mexican revolutionary Pancho Villa, that he faked his own death and fled to South America. As late as the 1930s, an explorer was said to have encountered a strange white man clad in jaguar skins (presumably Bierce) in the Brazilian jungle, where the local tribe worshiped him as a god.
The more likely explanation is that Bierce, after revisiting his old Civil War battle sites, traveled to the Grand Canyon to kill himself, a plan he had mentioned to friends on several occasions. His body has never been found. As a lexicographer, Bierce saw himself as continuing the great tradition of satirical dictionaries pioneered by the likes of Samuel Johnson and Voltaire. He shared Mark Twain's dark humor and dyspeptic view of the human condition. The two men followed similar career paths as well: both Bierce and Twain were printer's assistants and journalists before they became famous for their literary works. And like La Rochefoucauld, Bierce believed all human actions were instinctively selfish, disingenuous, and untrustworthy.
Essential Aphorisms
Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
Aphorism, n. Predigested wisdom.
Back, n. That part of your friend which it is your privilege to contemplate in your adversity.
Consult, v.t. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.
Corporation, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
Cynic, n. A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
Destiny, n. A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
Friendship, n. A ship big enough to carry two in fair weather, but only one in foul.
Future, n. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
Hearse, n. Death's baby-carriage.
Misfortune, n. The kind of fortune that never misses.
Oblivion, n. The state or condition in which the wicked cease from struggling and the dreary are at rest. Fame's eternal dumping ground. Cold storage for high hopes. A place where ambitious authors meet their works without pride and their betters without envy. A dormitory without an alarm clock.
Once, adv. Enough.
Opportunity, n. A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.
Otherwise, adv. No better.
Pleasure, n. The least hateful form of dejection.
Positive, adj. Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
Really, adv. Apparently.
Self-esteem, n. An erroneous appraisement.
Self-evident, adj. Evident to one's self and to nobody else.
Twice, adv. Once too often.
Parallel Lines: All Alone
Alone, adj. In bad company.
—BIERCE
Alone: not hindered by anyone else's help.
—JULIEN DE VALCKENAERE
GEARY'S GUIDE TO THE WORLD'S GREAT APHORISTS
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